10 hours ago, jason1975 said:

My Vietnamese guy also does not have a positive impression of Thai people. I believe it's because he had been mistreated many times. He came to work in Bangkok when he was just 16 years old with his mother. He did odd jobs such as cleaning. His mother went back to Vietnam and he stayed on in Bangkok to work. He told me that he cried when he missed Vietnamese Tet celebration when he was alone on his own in Bangkok. He worked many different jobs - cook, barber, deliveryman - before he worked in bar at Soi Twilight. My guy is the youngest of 3 and after his two older sisters got married, he had to provide for his parents and grandparents.

Situations sound very similar. Cam was 16 when he went with his father and brother to work construction. He did not stay at that time, but returned home when his family did. When they returned after he was 18, he did stay behind on his own and has worked many different jobs. He has one Cambodian friend who I believe is from Battambang who worked at Hotmale and persuaded Cam to start working there. To be honest, his friend had tried to get him to work there many times but Cam always refused. Whatever the reason was that changed his mind, I suppose I should be grateful as otherwise we probably would have never met. Cam is the youngest and has no family. I don't know that the rest of the family expects him to care for his parents...but Cam definitely has that sense of responsibility. Large family with five siblings, but the rest are all married and have families to take care of and full time employment. The family is close and I am sure they all help his parents as needed, but I think Cam feels the responsibility is mainly his now.

10 hours ago, Department_Of_Agriculture said:

Even without the foreign chains, the dining around Pub Street is very geared towards foreigners and they feel a bit raffish. Trendy locals with a bit of money generally prefer the restaurants on the River Road area, near the Khmer Ceramics Fine Arts Centre. Visiting that area, you see a completely different side of Siem Reap than you would in the Pub Street / Night Market area. That area, Slorkram, is much more relaxed and much more elegant. If your boy is unfamiliar with the area, since he is not a regular Siem Reap resident, you can always take a Grab or Tuk Tuk to the Khmer Ceramics Fine Arts Centre and wander around.

We have only gone to the Pub Street area a couple of times...I needed my caffeine fix and zoned in on Starbucks almost immediately. lol. Walked around the market area, which as you said, everything is geared towards tourists. I prefer exploring areas outside of the normal touristy stuff, so appreciate the recommendations. Cam has been to Siem Reap around five times before...beginning when he was a young boy, so he doesn't know much about the area at all. The comment about the foreign chains was not a complaint. Just an observation. Even if they were readily available, I would not visit them. I prefer local establishments.

Okay, everyone, just a heads up...we meet our tour guide in about one hour. I may not post again today if I am too tired. Leaving at 8am tomorrow morning for his parents place to celebrate the holiday. Connection is always an issue there, plus the use of electricity. Combine that with a houseful of people...14 of which are children...and I may not be posting for several days. As of this moment, the plan is still to go to Battambang on Tuesday. That may be the next time I am online.

Have fun holidaying with your new family

6 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

I prefer exploring areas outside of the normal touristy stuff, so appreciate the recommendations.

With that in mind, probably one of the most "authentic" experiences you can have as a foreigner in Siem Reap is visiting the central market - or Phsar Leu Thom Thmey in Khmer. It is less than ten minutes from central Siem Reap, but a world away in what you'll experience. It is the central market for fresh produce: meat, vegetables, fruit etc. Your boy will have a good time shopping for ingredient there.

For foreign visitors, though, the main attraction may be the gold market inside. This is where the locals shop for jewellery and here you will find real pieces at good prices, as opposed to the overpriced nonsense being sold to tourists in the night market. If you ever want to get Cam's mum a present, this is a good place to go. Just make sure your boy is with you if you want good prices.

The wholesale fresh produce part of the market opens at 4a.m., but there are food stalls that run just outside the market that are open all night. Dining there if you are up late is an option...as long as you are willing to eat the sort of stuff that Cam likes.

It was my regular tuk tuk driver who introduced me to this place a long time ago, and it is always worth a visit on every trip. In addition to fresh produce and gold, there is no shortage of attractive, often shirtless, young men chopping stuff or hauling carts around, which I find rather more appealing than carrots and gold chains.

The picture above is pinched from Klook, which I really shouldn't have to mention, except that there is at least one queen on here of the "Aha! I know where you took that from!" type.

So many things to report about…where to begin.  First of all, today is Cam’s birthday.  Birthday boy turned 29 today.  Fast approaching the big 30. lol.  I tease him a little and tell him once he hits 30 it is all downhill from there.  He always claims that birthdays and anniversaries are no big deal in his family and nothing is really done to celebrate.  Either he wasn’t being completely honest about that, or his family made an exception this year because all of his siblings sent him birthday messages, and we even did video chat with his parents and the youngest sister.  He also heard from a couple of his childhood friends.  I knew his birthday was coming up and have repeatedly asked if there was anything he would like, want or need…always adding the phrase within reason.  Of course, his idea of within reason and mine could be very far apart.  I knew I was potentially opening a can of worms with that one.  His reply was always that he didn’t want anything…or his standard response of ‘I don’t know’.  For several days now I have been telling him to be thinking about it because after we finished the temple tours today and returned to the Airbnb we would go shopping.  Last evening he actually showed me photos of several items he was interested in…he had obviously been thinking about this and done some research.  Surprising to me, though, all of the items were pieces of jewelry.  This kind of threw me a curve ball, because I have never seen him wear any type of jewelry before.  Not prayer beads, not any type of necklace or chain, he doesn’t eve wear a watch.  I know he has this piece of wood he keeps in a velvet type bag that one day he hopes to have carved into a Buddhist symbol to wear around his neck.  It is a special type of wood found in Cambodia that has special significance in the Buddhist faith.  He has showed that to me before.  To make a long story short, we went to several different shops in the central market that sell jewelry.  We had passed by this place yesterday. I am always skeptical of these places and have always doubted both the quality and the authenticity of their jewelry.  Not a place I would go to buy such an item, but seems to be very common place in Asian countries.  Saw many similar places in Taiwan and Thailand.  After looking at several items, Cam selected a ring…not just any ring, though, but what I would consider to be a wedding band.  This would be the case in the US, at least, but not sure about Cambodia.  No idea if men wear wedding bands, and no idea if there is any special significance in Cam’s mind.  I did comment to him when we were looking at the rings that they are just like male wedding bands in the US.  And we did not purchase matching bands.  That was not suggested by either of us to the other…not that I wouldn’t be open to that.  This entire process just caught me completely off guard.  So, I ended up spending $316 USD…initially I was prepared to spend around $200 on his gift, so I didn’t really mind going a little over.  He doesn’t ask for any money, nor has his family.  The first time he ever asked was to see if I wanted to participate in the family gift to his parents.  It was about including me versus expecting me to contribute.  We will go out somewhere for a nice dinner this evening.  Would appreciate any comments or thoughts you wise forum members have regarding the ring purchase.  Still unsure what to think about it.

While doing video chat with his parents and sister, it was decided (not that a vote was taken that included me…lol) that his parents will travel to Battambang with us on Tuesday or Wednesday to visit relatives.  As I said previously, I am learning to just go with the flow.  Plans are constantly changing…if there are even plans made in advance…especially when family gets involved.  I guess a big lunch is being planned for tomorrow when we arrive.  I had told Cam we should buy food already prepared so his mother isn’t cooking for everyone, but that idea was quickly shot down.  Evidently his mother has already started preparing…with the help of his youngest sister.  That is why she was there on the video chat.  No idea if the parents will stay with the relatives, or are planning on staying with us in the Airbnb.  I doubt I will find out in advance.  The Airbnb is only one bedroom, so this could be very interesting if they are staying with us.  Parents may be in the bedroom while me and Cam are on the floor.

Visited three temples today…very remote and travel time between them was quite long.  Very isolated and rural areas we have not been to before today.  Cam had no idea where he was.  Temples today were a lot smaller than some of the previous ones, so they were not crowded and not as much walking.  No climbing involved, either.  I cannot say much for the quality of the roads getting there, though.  We passed two different work crews out filling potholes after all of the torrential rains.  It was interesting to watch, as they basically had a small pick up filled with gravel.  There were four or five workers.  One was the driver, two had baskets shaped like the head of a shovel they would use to scoop the gravel out of the back of the truck and place it into the pothole.  The other two had some sort of device they would tamp the gravel down.  No tar, no asphalt, no rollers…everything done by hand, basically.  Passed by many roadside stands selling some sort of cake I would like to go back and try…steamed, I believe, with some type of cream inside.  Also saw lots of pork being roasted…also want to try that.  Unfortunately, there is no time now to go back on our own.  Cam said we can find similar things in his hometown.  I do need to ‘take back’ something I said in an earlier post that the sales people are not that aggressive.  That was true in the market areas of Siem Reap, but not so much at the stalls located at many of the temples.  The vendors at the temples were quite pushy indeed…so much so I was tempted to have a t-shirt made that said ‘no money’ in Khmer hoping that would fend them off.  lol.  This seems to me a contradiction of the Code of Conduct posted at all of the temple sites we visited to have these shopping stalls on the site as well.  Most had several stalls, but they all have the same exact merchandise for sale.

Probably my last post until we get to Battambang.

6 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

Would appreciate any comments or thoughts you wise forum members have regarding the ring purchase.  Still unsure what to think about it.

My advice: Don't overthink so much

I'm sure @vinapu has some wiser words that his grandmother or mom would've said 😉

On 10/6/2026 at 11:23 PM, Department_Of_Agriculture said:

Between the Thais and the Khmer, there is almost a millennium of shared history, with much of it being confrontation. The Khmer are acutely aware that the Thais destroyed their empire, reducing it to the rump state of Cambodia, while incorporating most of it into Siam.

Cam’s reaction is not unique. This belief is indoctrinated into every Cambodian boy I’ve encountered. Muay Thai? From Cambodia. Temples? From Cambodia. Thai alphabet? From Khmer, a much older language and script (accurate).

There is a significant amount of hostility over the origins and cultural ownership of Muay Thai, including the uproar over the naming of the category at the 2023 SEA Games, and the Brazilian Thai-trained fighter Thiago Texeira who defected from Thailand to Cambodia. Beware any muay thai championship that features a Cambodian vs Thai fighter. Overall a very touchy subject and sometimes their bias borders on the absurd. But then again Cambodia has so little to be proud of and their patriotism is touching.

Double post sorry still struggle with new forum

11 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

Would appreciate any comments or thoughts you wise forum members have regarding the ring purchase.  Still unsure what to think about it.

My ex Cambodian guy wears one (not given by me). A plain gold ring like a male wedding band as you said, but on his middle finger. Cambodians love gold accessories as much as Thais do, though the obsession doesn’t run as deep since many can’t afford gold. Rings in Cambodia have the usual partnership and commitment implications as anywhere else, but they can also be given by a special older friend to a younger one. And while there can be some suggestion of romantic partnership it is not as symbolically specific as the Western giving of rings. In my guy’s case he was gifted the ring by an overseas older Cambodian sponsor who bought another ring for another boy at the same time.

Generally the baseline message is “there is someone in my life who loves and cares enough about me to buy me an expensive ring” and also a bit of a flex that you are wearing the equivalent of 10-15000 baht on your finger, when everyone is on minimum wage. And a suggestion that you are “spoken for” but not necessarily as I know as my guy continues to wear his ring even after he and his sponsor parted ways. As does a Cambodian girl i know who still wears a diamond-looking ring from a past engagement.

TLDR looks nice, is a flex

one important thing to note @jimmie50 is that Cam’s wearing of a ring reflects well on you as it does him in front of friends and family

1 hour ago, hank75 said:

Muay Thai? From Cambodia. Temples? From Cambodia. Thai alphabet? From Khmer, a much older language and script

Interesting comment, as these are statements I hear from Cam often. Had no clue where this was coming from until this trip, nor how indoctrinated it is into the Cambodian culture. As I have said before, I tread softly when it comes to things like this. I let him vent, listen intently and nod, but rarely comment.

On 10/6/2026 at 5:12 PM, jimmie50 said:

They have a Facebook page but no website. 

Disclaimer...I captured this photo from their Facebook page. I did not take it myself.

3 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

I let him vent, listen intently and nod, but rarely comment.

Something I'm incapable of.... which you probably knew even before we met in person 🤣

Happy Birthday, Cam!

On 10/7/2026 at 6:53 PM, jimmie50 said:

So many things to report about…where to begin.  First of all, today is Cam’s birthday.  Birthday boy turned 29 today.  Fast approaching the big 30. lol.

18 hours ago, floridarob said:

My advice: Don't overthink so much

I'm sure @vinapu has some wiser words that his grandmother or mom would've said 😉

18 hours ago, floridarob said:

My advice: Don't overthink so much

I'm sure @vinapu has some wiser words that his grandmother or mom would've said 😉

Vinapu is sick and nothing wiser comes to my mind that jewelry is rather girl's stuff. Men worry more about other jewels, less shiny but often more prominently displayed

13 hours ago, hank75 said:

But then again Cambodia has so little to be proud of and their patriotism is touching.

I won't call being owner of Angkor temple complex, one of greatest sites of the world little to be proud.

9 hours ago, vinapu said:

I won't call being owner of Angkor temple complex, one of greatest sites of the world little to be proud.

Looted by French and own people, neglected for centuries. Makes me wonder if they had flourished and preserved it the way it should be, what would it be like

Quick update…still in Cam’s hometown.  As I suspected, nothing has gone according to plan…at least my plan.  lol.  There are so many things to unpack and report on here that it will probably take several days for me to gather my thoughts and post something.  I am still alive, although I am about reaching my limit of family time.  lol.  Growing up in a small family, I have not had the experience of so many people for an extended period of time in very close quarters.  Five siblings, three spouses, two parents, and 14 children ranging in age from 8 months up to 12 years old.  Keep in mind the house is small and elevated.  The inside is primarily for sleeping at night.  Because it is so small, mostly the females and children sleep there…plus me and Cam.  When I say wall to wall people…I mean that literally.  The males are sleeping in hammocks hanging from the rafters below the house.  This is also the hang out area during the day, the area where we eat and drink…and speaking of drinking, I have come to believe the entire family is a bunch of alcoholics.  I have never seen people go through so many cases of beer in one day.  Without stopping to think, they finish one can and immediately open another.  No pause or hesitation whatsoever.  Needless to say, Cam and I have had a couple of conversations about the excessive drinking among all of the adults and he has tried to refrain or limit his consumption…at least when I am looking. lol.  Please don’t misunderstand…I am not a teatotaler and have had my share of alcohol over the years.  I do not drink now due to medication I take for my heart and both my primary doctor and the cardiologist have warned me not to drink because of the medication.  Even in my college days, I never consumed alcohol like these people have the last week. We are talking 10 or 12 cans at lunch time alone per person.  I am surprised they don’t all pass out within a couple of hours, but by dinner time it starts all over again and then with karaoke in the evening.

Since Pchum Ben is a Buddhist holiday, I assumed it would be more mellow and reserved…religious in nature.  Yes, we go to temple every day.  Yes we make food offerings to the monks.  But once we return to the house from the temple or pagoda as they call it, it is like the gates of hell have opened up and swallowed everyone.  Even though the official public holiday is three days (October 10-12), Cam’s entire family is here for an entire week.  I expected them all to return to their respective homes on Monday, the last official day of the public holiday, and then we would travel to Battambang on Tuesday or Wednesday at the latest.  I also expected the holiday to be much more conservative as a Buddhist holiday, but this place is really party central.  I have no clue if other families celebrate in the same manner.  Since this is my first time to be in Cambodia or experience this holiday, I have no comparison.  If nothing else, with the entire family here for one week the males have been able to complete the fence project.  It actually turned out quite nice.  I had my doubts initially, and was not very sure how they planned to use the rolls of wire mesh.  As it turns out, they built frames…sort of like a picture window frame…and stretched the wire mesh around the steel frame to make a panel.  Then they installed the panel on the upper portion of the brick wall and between the concrete posts.  Using the steel they also made a door frame and a framed wire mesh door that will open, close and lock on the very back wall.

I can tell Cam’s mother enjoys having the family here, but she is very tired.  His sister’s all help with meal preparation, as does the brother’s wife, but it is still a lot of extra work for his mother.  Her health is not the best, so I do worry about her doing too much.  I said something to Cam a couple of times, and he, too has noticed how tired she is the longer everyone is here.  I don’t know if he has quietly said something to his siblings or not.  Yesterday he said to me she was not well.  When I asked him this morning he only said better.  The two oldest grandchildren help out some as well.  The others are more in the way than anything.  They are too little to notice what is happening.  I guess since all of the siblings except the seamstress have their own business they are able to simply close up for the week.  In fact, many businesses are closed over the official three days.  It was quite strange going to the local market to find many stalls closed.

Your observations are very useful. It reminds me of a something I read about years ago in a book - I cant even recall the title, it's been so long - about economic development. What it said was something to the effect that many technocratic planners and advisors (usually from the West or the World Bank) fail to see that economic development isn't just a matter of building infrastructure or attracting investments with tax breaks etc.

It often involves changing an entire country's culture, e.g. punctuality, sobriety, reporting for work (or opening your shop) when the holiday is over, and changing a society's value system such as saving for the future rather than spending for the pleasure of immediate consumption; valuing education and good health over status-spending, etc. Not to mention eliminating a culture of corruption ingrained among bureaucrats, which springs from a deeper culture of gift-giving, mutual obligations, social rank, and so on (I wish I could remember the more precise words the book used)

You could spend your time imagining yourself to be that foreign advisor: how would you even begin to change the culture that you are witnessing?

Thanks Jimmie for the update. I think you have been very brave and steadfast in putting up with all this for such a period. I couldn't have managed for more than a day! At least you will have gained a full understanding of Cam's family circumstances, although you may never want to return.

I hope that you are able to get back to Battambang asap(I would insist).

Just now, macaroni21 said:

You could spend your time imagining yourself to be that foreign advisor: how would you even begin to change the culture that you are witnessing?

Not that you wrong with that analysis but in case described above I'd say let family have their fun way they like it and accustomed to. Those, are people who don't have paid leaves and occasion to meet likely happens once ot twice per year. As for all that beer one hopes they are drinking some decent stuff like Hanuman, Ganzberg or Krud, not their poorer relatives like Cambodia Light

3 hours ago, vinapu said:

Not that you wrong with that analysis but in case described above I'd say let family have their fun way they like it and accustomed to. Those, are people who don't have paid leaves and occasion to meet likely happens once ot twice per year. As for all that beer one hopes they are drinking some decent stuff like Hanuman, Ganzberg or Krud, not their poorer relatives like Cambodia Light

Angkor beer seemed ok?

4 hours ago, Keithambrose said:

Angkor beer seemed ok?

Yes, but still my favorites are great three named above Hanuman, Ganzberg and Krud.

3 hours ago, vinapu said:

Yes, but still my favorites are great three named above Hanuman, Ganzberg and Krud.

Ok. I'm attracted by Krud, as in English, its such a weird name for a beer! However, it doesn't seem very common, and I've never come across Hanuman, a Hindu God, I believe?

Am posting some photos of the wire mesh panels being installed and the completed fence.  They need to lay a row of brick under the door frame, but otherwise it is pretty much done.  Next project is to tear down the old chicken coop and prepare that area for the relocation of the current house.  Let me tell you a little about the current house.  Initially it was approximately 2 feet off the ground, so slightly elevated, and about 10 square meters.  It was built 40 years ago.  20 years ago they raised the house to the current level, probably around 10 feet above ground level and build a 10 square meter addition doubling their space.  Keep in mind that this is the home where his parents raised five children.  Cam just turned 29, so that means he would have been around 9 years old when they added the space.  The kitchen is open air but located under the new addition.  The bathroom is basically an outhouse.  It has concrete walls and a door for privacy and the more traditional Asian squat toilet.  Baths are from a large storage tank using a plastic bin and scooping water to get yourself wet and to rinse.  His parents do not have indoor plumbing…even in the kitchen.  There are many large clay pots behind the house that catch rainwater that is used for cooking, washing clothes, bathing, etc.

So, once the chicken coop has been taken down and the area prepared for the current house, they will begin the process of dismantling the current house and reassembling it where the chicken coop once stood.  If you recall, I mentioned that his mother consulted a fortune teller about the best day to begin construction of the new house.  The date was December 8.  As it turns out, according to their beliefs and customs, the moving of the current house is included within the construction period.  That means they can take down the chicken coop in advance, but the actual dismantling and relocation of the current house begins with that December 8 date.  In my mind, I assumed they would have everything moved and be ready to actually begin with the new house construction.  Not how things work here.  lol.

On a positive note…not that anything has really been negative…the oldest grandchild is an exceptionally smart young lady who has worked very hard in her studies.  She has learned not only Khmer but English and Chinese.  We have been able to have some decent conversations allowing her to get some first-hand experience practicing her English skills and she has taught me a few phrases in Khmer.  Keep in mind she is only 12 years old, so the conversations are just very casual.  I think the oldest two grandkids are more aware and may ask their parents questions in private about their Uncle Cam and his American friend, but nothing is said out loud in front of either of us that I am aware of or that Cam has let on to me.

In general, my experience at the farm and now staying more than one week with Cam’s parents brings back memories of my childhood when I would go to church camp or my family would go camping.  That was the only way we could afford to take vacations when I was little, so cold showers and pit toilets were the norm.  Also reminds me of high school days when we would travel with the youth group from church to remote areas of Belize on work missions.  I might be older and prefer at least 3 star accommodations, but you learn to adjust your expectations based upon your situation.  As if have said several times before…the things we do for love.  lol

Cam’s family has been very welcoming and gone out of their way to make sure I feel included.  Cam remains very attentive and has no care or worry about family reactions when he gets touchy-feely with me.  There also seems to be no reaction from them…it seems to be accepted as natural.  What is said to him in Khmer in private may be altogether different, but I don’t think so.  I have not picked up on any negative vibes whatsoever.   In reality, they may have picked up on some negative vibes from me regarding the consumption of alcohol.  The cases of beer consumed by this group over the course of 9 or 10 days is staggering.  At least when around me Cam has been drinking less….5 or 6 cans instead of 10 or 12.  That is in one sitting…not one day.  I gave up trying to count how many cans in one day, because it happens at lunch, dinner, and karaoke time in the evening.

Oh…regarding the ring, he proudly wears it on left hand ring finger and shows it off.  Once he put it on he hasn’t taken it off.  Following the advice of esteemed forum members, I have tried not to think too much into it but rather treat it as has been suggested…special gift from special friend…and leave it at that.  I don’t ask him questions about its meaning.

19 hours ago, vinapu said:

Those, are people who don't have paid leaves and occasion to meet likely happens once ot twice per year. As for all that beer one hopes they are drinking some decent stuff like Hanuman, Ganzberg or Krud, not their poorer relatives like Cambodia Light

You are correct in that the entire family only gets together a couple of times each year for Cambodian New Year and for Pchum Ben. The beer is usually Cambodia or Hanuman. Have not seen them with Ganzberg or Krud. Cam will drink Angkor by the bottle sometimes when we are grabbing a bite to eat.