On 10/15/2026 at 7:25 PM, macaroni21 said:

You could spend your time imagining yourself to be that foreign advisor: how would you even begin to change the culture that you are witnessing?

That is possibly the most idiotic advice I have ever seen on this forum, which is saying a lot.

That way lies perdition, both for you own peace of mind and for your relationship with Cam.

Fortunately, @jimmie50, I am guessing that you are wise enough to ignore it, though.

To state the obvious, you are not there to change his family’s behaviour or to play the white saviour. You are there to build a life with Cam. Giving him the sense that you disapprove of his family’s behaviour, especially this early in the relationship, is not going to go down well with him - because he knows perfectly well that his family are his true support network and these people drinking 12 beers at a sitting are the ones who will still be there for him if things don’t work-out with you. The kind of bonding that you are seeing now is what holds people together in these families. Those hammocks might as well be the family safety nets.

I would also note that the World Happiness Report 2026 has Cambodia well ahead of Australia, from which this silly suggestion comes, in-terms of Positive Emotions among the people: Cambodia ranks 29^th out of 147 countries; Australia only 45^th. You may safely ignore the silly suggestion that they are going to be keen to trade happiness for a little more “productivity”. It is the family bonds and social networks that give them that much greater happiness, despite their much lower incomes. These get-togethers underpin that.

If you are going to change anyone in the family’s behaviour, it is going to be through inspiration when they see the kind of life Cam builds with you – not through prescription or “imagining yourself to be that foreign advisor: how would you even begin to change the culture that you are witnessing”

That does bring-up the question of what sort of a life you and Cam are actually going to build together there that puts him on a secure footing. He has given-up the life of a bar boy to be with you – with all the decent earnings that it can provide. What is he going to do now that could provide something better? There is, at a minimum, a hope that building his life with someone older, more stable, more experienced and better-off is going to lead to something better for him. Maybe that means investing in vocational training or something for him that will give him a more secure foundation – whether technical or agricultural - than the mix of odd jobs and a dash of farming on the side that you previously mentioned. That is where you might make a real impact – by bringing a perspective with a wider horizon and providing the means to get somewhere through effort. Ultimately, of course, it’s the two of you who will know best, rather than myself or anyone else making suggestions on here.

That also brings-up the question of where you can make an impact without trying to direct things, while, simultaneously, giving yourself something worthwhile and enjoyable to do. You have talked about looking at options. Maybe one to consider is running free English classes in the evenings for both kids and adults – separate classes of an hour each, five days a week. I have a Cambodian friend who speaks good English and runs such English classes in his village and the impact has been quite inspirational. If you were going to be based in Cam's village, that would be transformative. There is nothing to stop you from doing the same in Battambang, though. Although, you will probably want to have a Cambodian adult present in the class to avoid unpleasant speculation about what you might really be up to. One way in may be with the organisation behind the Phare Circus, which is actually based in Battambang.

That would at least keep you busy and productive in your first year, while you put down roots, and spare you the frustration that would result from “imagining yourself to be that foreign advisor: how would you even begin to change the culture that you are witnessing”, which you would probably end-up engaging in if you had too much free time and weren’t doing anything more meaningful.

Again, you know best – or will know best, based on experience - but worrying about his family behaving like a typical rural Cambodian family is pointless. Your "Cambodian Dream" is about the life the two of you want to build together. Do what you went there to do, and you may end-up doing far more for many more, without trying to direct anything.

p.s. having mentioned Phare Circus above, what did Cam actually think of it? You mentioned that he wasn't that excited when you first suggested it. Has his opinion changed after seeing the show and meeting the performers?

 

@jimmie50 I’m sure you didn’t envision yourself starting your retirement adventure in a crowded village house, using outhouse toilets and enduring drunken karaoke! Hang in there.

Your reports are bringing back memories of spending Songkran with my ex guy in Siem Reap where I was invited to partake in the “festivities” with his friends and relatives. Will recap that here when I am less exhausted, it’s been a dinger of a week. All I can say is you have far more fortitude than I did; a day was more than too much for me.

On a serious note, be careful whatever you consume is fully cooked. I didn’t like the sound of collecting rainwater in vats to cook and wash with. Sounds like a case food poisoning or bacterial infection around the corner.

1 hour ago, hank75 said:

All I can say is you have far more fortitude than I did; a day was more than too much for me.

Ditto, I've gone to 2 pueblos in Mexico with bf's over the years.....1 weekend was plenty, I told them the family can come visit us in the "Big City" where we have things like A/C , indoor toilets and floors.

I grew up camping in scouts and Army at 17..... those days of roughing it are long gone😏

Glad to hear that you're well, @jimmie50 and thanks for sharing with us about your life in Cambodia. Since your move there, we've heard about Cam's house, Cam's farm, Cam's new fence (repeatedly), various members of Cam's family in great detail, Cam's friends, Cam's likes, Cam's dislikes, Cam's drinking habits, Cam's family's drinking habits, Cam's festivals, Cam's gifts...but I'm struggling to find Wally...oops, I mean @jimmie50 in all of this? Where's that genial former special ed teacher we've come to know and love in the past one year?

Some general observations…Cam’s hometown is definitely very rural and much different from Siem Reap.  Siem Reap was very different from Bangkok.  Bangkok definitely has that big city vibe going on all the time.  Things are new and modern.  You have many more conveniences that western folks are accustomed to.  Siem Reap strikes me as a large city by Cambodian standards but with a small town feeling.  Things are more laid back there.  There are some very nice and large hotels in Siem Reap, but when we would ride past you never saw any vehicles or customers.  They always looked deserted.  I wouldn’t say that Siem Reap itself was inundated with tourists.  The larger and more popular temples were definitely busy, but the city itself was rather quiet.  Even Pub Street area was more quiet that I expected.  Probably the busiest of any place outside of the temples would be the night market along the river.

When driving around Cam’s hometown…well, for that matter, anywhere in Cambodia…you pass by cart or stall after stall side by side and all of them selling exactly the same items.  I am curious as to how any of them actually make any money. Given the fact there are so many with precisely the same goods, how does one even decide which stall provides the best food or price?  I suppose people either have their favorite stall or perhaps go to one operated by a friend or family member.  But to the general public passing by, there really is nothing to make one distinct from the other.  Cam has certain places he goes for certain things.  It certainly isn’t one stop shopping for him.  If we are buying pork, we go to one specific stall.  If we are buying beer, we go to one particular mini-market.  If we are getting fruit, he has one particular stall in the market he prefers.  Not really sure how he has determined which will be his favorite place to shop for certain things.  Sometimes it is just better not to ask too many questions.  lol. One more interesting thing about the stalls...especially since Cam wants to learn to be a barber as a skill and have his own shop. While driving around the countryside, we will see what is nothing more than a 3-sided shed with a roof that contains one lonely barber chair. These seem to dot the countryside just as the food stalls do.

I have decided that regardless of where you are in Cambodia and what type of vehicle you drive, Cambodians do not know the purpose or how to use their side mirrors or rear view mirrors!  They have no peripheral vision.  LOL.  Every vehicle, regardless of size or number of wheels, must come with a hammock.  No exceptions to this rule.  Going the opposite direction from the rest of traffic on the opposite is standard operating procedure.  They have also never heard of the rule that pedestrians have the right away.  I know the traffic and crossing streets in Thailand has been a topic in a number of posts, but in Thailand I never felt unsafe.  I do not feel safe walking anywhere in Cambodia.  In fact, I was literally run over by a remork in the local market.  If there are traffic laws, I don’t believe anyone is aware of them.  We were in a remork just the other day with his mother and there was a barricade indicating the road was closed.  People simply went around the barricade as if it didn’t exist.  Stop signs…must be for decoration.  Traffic signals…look at the pretty lights.  Pretty sure nobody has ever been issued a traffic ticket for a moving violation in Cambodia.  If that were the case, anyone with access to a vehicle should have received at the minimum ten traffic tickets in their lifetime.  Drivers on motorbikes and bicycles are supposed to wear helmets.  It is not required for passengers.  I would guess at least 50% of the drivers do not wear helmets…more so in rural areas.  Cam doesn’t wear one at his parents, nor do any of the other guys.  His mother and one sister will wear a helmet, but that is all.  He does wear it when we were traveling long distance.  I insisted he get a helmet for me, and I think he does try to be more careful when I am riding with him.  The roads are pretty rough in some areas, but it wasn’t too bad riding on the back for an extended period of time.  I did ask him to stop probably more often than he would normally just to give my back a rest.  No idea what the road to Battambang from his hometown will be like, but I assume I will find out sometime next week.

16 hours ago, hank75 said:

I’m sure you didn’t envision yourself starting your retirement adventure in a crowded village house, using outhouse toilets and enduring drunken karaoke! Hang in there.

Your reports are bringing back memories of spending Songkran with my ex guy in Siem Reap where I was invited to partake in the “festivities” with his friends and relatives. Will recap that here when I am less exhausted, it’s been a dinger of a week. All I can say is you have far more fortitude than I did; a day was more than too much for me.

On a serious note, be careful whatever you consume is fully cooked. I didn’t like the sound of collecting rainwater in vats to cook and wash with. Sounds like a case food poisoning or bacterial infection around the corner.

Yes, this adventure was not part of the original plan...that is for sure. Roughing it is putting it mildly. I am very careful about what I eat. If it cannot be peeled or isn't cooked, I avoid it at all cost.

18 hours ago, Department_Of_Agriculture said:

having mentioned Phare Circus above, what did Cam actually think of it? You mentioned that he wasn't that excited when you first suggested it. Has his opinion changed after seeing the show and meeting the performers?

After going and talking about it when we got back to the Airbnb, he actually enjoyed it very much. We even talked about at some point visiting Siem Reap again with some of his family and taking them to see the circus. I will need to check it out in Battambang. Not sure if they offer shows there, or just have the school.

As for English lessons, this is something I will need to be careful about as the Cambodian government considers even volunteering as work and requires a permit. I really don't want to deal with the work permit or do anything that will jeopardize the retirement visa. That seems to be easy and straightforward at the moment.

On 10/15/2026 at 6:25 PM, macaroni21 said:

Your observations are very useful. It reminds me of a something I read about years ago in a book - I cant even recall the title, it's been so long - about economic development. What it said was something to the effect that many technocratic planners and advisors (usually from the West or the World Bank) fail to see that economic development isn't just a matter of building infrastructure or attracting investments with tax breaks etc.

It often involves changing an entire country's culture, e.g. punctuality, sobriety, reporting for work (or opening your shop) when the holiday is over, and changing a society's value system such as saving for the future rather than spending for the pleasure of immediate consumption; valuing education and good health over status-spending, etc. Not to mention eliminating a culture of corruption ingrained among bureaucrats, which springs from a deeper culture of gift-giving, mutual obligations, social rank, and so on (I wish I could remember the more precise words the book used)

You could spend your time imagining yourself to be that foreign advisor: how would you even begin to change the culture that you are witnessing?

Well, my mission is not to try and change the culture...either within Cam's family or in a more general sense. I learned a long time ago you cannot go into any type of relationship with the mindset that you will change the other person...or at least change the things you don't like about the person. The relationship is doomed to failure if that is your mindset from the very beginning. I might not be crazy about the excessive drinking, but I certainly know well enough to keep my mouth shut. Cam knows my history with drinking...from growing up in a house where smoking and drinking were strictly forbidden to my wild college days. He understands that I don't drink now primarily because of medication...nothing to do with abstinence or sobriety. When we are not around friends or family, he can go several days without having a single drink. And if he does have something, at the most it might l three beers. I cannot speak for the rest of his family and their drinking habits at home. But there is definitely something about that group dynamic...the pressure...whether family or friends. That is not uniquely Cambodian, by the way.

Anyway, I am not there to make or remake their lives into something more western. I am not here for some intervention for what westerners consider the ills of Cambodia culture and society. I am here to primarily focus on building a relationship together with Cam which will require a blending of both of our cultures and beliefs...merging them into something we both feel positive about without either one dominating the other.

1 hour ago, jimmie50 said:

After going and talking about it when we got back to the Airbnb, he actually enjoyed it very much. We even talked about at some point visiting Siem Reap again with some of his family and taking them to see the circus. I will need to check it out in Battambang. Not sure if they offer shows there, or just have the school.

They offered shows when I went around two years ago. You can also get a guided tour of the school before the show.

2 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

Some general observations…Cam’s hometown is definitely very rural and much different from Siem Reap.  Siem Reap was very different from Bangkok.  Bangkok definitely has that big city vibe going on all the time.  Things are new and modern.  You have many more conveniences that western folks are accustomed to.  Siem Reap strikes me as a large city by Cambodian standards but with a small town feeling.  Things are more laid back there.  There are some very nice and large hotels in Siem Reap, but when we would ride past you never saw any vehicles or customers.  They always looked deserted.  I wouldn’t say that Siem Reap itself was inundated with tourists.  The larger and more popular temples were definitely busy, but the city itself was rather quiet.  Even Pub Street area was more quiet that I expected.  Probably the busiest of any place outside of the temples would be the night market along the river.

When driving around Cam’s hometown…well, for that matter, anywhere in Cambodia…you pass by cart or stall after stall side by side and all of them selling exactly the same items.  I am curious as to how any of them actually make any money. Given the fact there are so many with precisely the same goods, how does one even decide which stall provides the best food or price?  I suppose people either have their favorite stall or perhaps go to one operated by a friend or family member.  But to the general public passing by, there really is nothing to make one distinct from the other.  Cam has certain places he goes for certain things.  It certainly isn’t one stop shopping for him.  If we are buying pork, we go to one specific stall.  If we are buying beer, we go to one particular mini-market.  If we are getting fruit, he has one particular stall in the market he prefers.  Not really sure how he has determined which will be his favorite place to shop for certain things.  Sometimes it is just better not to ask too many questions.  lol. One more interesting thing about the stalls...especially since Cam wants to learn to be a barber as a skill and have his own shop. While driving around the countryside, we will see what is nothing more than a 3-sided shed with a roof that contains one lonely barber chair. These seem to dot the countryside just as the food stalls do.

I have decided that regardless of where you are in Cambodia and what type of vehicle you drive, Cambodians do not know the purpose or how to use their side mirrors or rear view mirrors!  They have no peripheral vision.  LOL.  Every vehicle, regardless of size or number of wheels, must come with a hammock.  No exceptions to this rule.  Going the opposite direction from the rest of traffic on the opposite is standard operating procedure.  They have also never heard of the rule that pedestrians have the right away.  I know the traffic and crossing streets in Thailand has been a topic in a number of posts, but in Thailand I never felt unsafe.  I do not feel safe walking anywhere in Cambodia.  In fact, I was literally run over by a remork in the local market.  If there are traffic laws, I don’t believe anyone is aware of them.  We were in a remork just the other day with his mother and there was a barricade indicating the road was closed.  People simply went around the barricade as if it didn’t exist.  Stop signs…must be for decoration.  Traffic signals…look at the pretty lights.  Pretty sure nobody has ever been issued a traffic ticket for a moving violation in Cambodia.  If that were the case, anyone with access to a vehicle should have received at the minimum ten traffic tickets in their lifetime.  Drivers on motorbikes and bicycles are supposed to wear helmets.  It is not required for passengers.  I would guess at least 50% of the drivers do not wear helmets…more so in rural areas.  Cam doesn’t wear one at his parents, nor do any of the other guys.  His mother and one sister will wear a helmet, but that is all.  He does wear it when we were traveling long distance.  I insisted he get a helmet for me, and I think he does try to be more careful when I am riding with him.  The roads are pretty rough in some areas, but it wasn’t too bad riding on the back for an extended period of time.  I did ask him to stop probably more often than he would normally just to give my back a rest.  No idea what the road to Battambang from his hometown will be like, but I assume I will find out sometime next week.

Dont forget that it is the off season, so crowds not expected. However, last month, in the two central boutique hotels I use, Viroth's and the Angkor Village Hotel, both were fully booked. They both only have around 30 to 40 rooms.

Personally, I have never found the traffic in Siem Reap an issue. Even in peak season, I find the traffic slower than in Bangkok. Like all these places, it's a question of staying alert at all times! Still, nothing would persuade me onto a motorbike!

1 hour ago, jimmie50 said:

I cannot speak for the rest of his family and their drinking habits at home. But there is definitely something about that group dynamic...the pressure...whether family or friends.

From my ex guy (and others) I received the sense that adult life expectancy was relatively short in Cambodia. Parents in their early 50s were described as “very old” and on their last legs. Several boys I know lost a parent at a young age. Excessive drinking among other factors is a likely contributor! Added on to a hard farming life….malnutrition… poor healthcare. My ex guy’s mother was so riddled with gout and ailments she could be barely walk.

2 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

Well, my mission is not to try and change the culture...either within Cam's family or in a more general sense.

I wasn't in the least suggesting that. I had written "imagining yourself to be that foreign advisor". My point rides on your keenly observed notes* about what you're seeing, and how culture and social practices are deeply ingrained in a society and inextricably intertwined with the realities of governance (or lack thereof) the physical environment.

Too often, foreign experts are parachuted into a country to advise on economic development, business consultants parachuted in to increase corporate efficiency -- and also, journalists are parachuted in to "describe" a country to outsiders -- but they have no idea what they're up against. I have often been appalled at how impossible and inappropriate their advice has been. You, on the other hand, planned or unplanned, have planted yourself within a hide (note: British English) as it were, with an unparalleled view of real life.

*keenly observed notes much appreciated and highly instructive. Others (like me) benefit from your observations without having to put up with squat toilets, spotty internet and mosquito nets 🥰Thanks for being such a hero.

9 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

I am very careful about what I eat. If it cannot be peeled or isn't cooked, I avoid it at all cost.

I agree completely.

It's better to be safe than sorry.

And also, who knows what that 'meat' is?

And why is my salad looking back at me?

I could never survive the way are doing at the moment. I'd have to bring all my own food, which would be considered very rude.

On 10/16/2026 at 2:01 PM, Keithambrose said:

I've never come across Hanuman, a Hindu God, I believe?

Comes in 2 varieties, blue and black, each in turn in bottle and canned. Nice label, indeed featuring that monkey warrior god.

18 hours ago, a-447 said:

And also, who knows what that 'meat' is?

And why is my salad looking back at me?

I could never survive the way are doing at the moment. I'd have to bring all my own food, which would be considered very rude.

Well, regarding the mystery meat...I learned when visiting the family of my ex in Taiwan that he (and his family) would get terribly annoyed with me always asking what something was or what was inside. As a result of that experience, I take a bite. If it tastes okay and the texture is acceptable, I simply eat it, enjoy it and don't ask. I am probably better off not knowing what it is anyway. Texture was the big thing for me over taste.

As for salad, Cam brought back something yesterday that he called salad and I swear to you parts of it were still moving. Just could not bring myself to sample that. I honestly believe it was full of these tiny little worms. Pass.

In high school, I traveled two different summers with the youth group on a work mission to remote areas of Belize. The first year our group leaders either shipped ahead or took with us a selection of American foods...things like jars of peanut butter and cans of spam. That turned into a fiasco because the ladies in the village where we stayed were responsible for preparing our meals and they had no clue what to do with the American foods. I recall spaghetti was one of the items. Not knowing how to cook the noodles, they came out as one very large, gummy and inedible mess. The next year they just let the village ladies plan the menu and purchase the food locally.

13 minutes ago, vinapu said:

Comes in 2 varieties, blue and black, each in turn in bottle and canned. Nice label, indeed featuring that monkey warrior god.

Cam prefer the black label of Hanuman. Also, I don't know about the blue label, but the pull tab on the black labels sometimes has the number $1 on it which can be exchanged at the store for a free can of the beer. Let me tell you...he has had quite the collection of pull tabs and gotten more than his fair share of free cans over the last 10 days. I would prefer a little less incentive. lol.

On 10/16/2026 at 11:35 PM, mauRICE said:

Where's that genial former special ed teacher we've come to know and love in the past one year?

He is still in there somewhere. Remember, I am on Cam's home turf now and this is about learning his culture, family traditions, and basically integrating myself into the Cambodian way of life. Definitely not the experience I expected before my arrival, but hoping things will get back to what I did expect when we head to Battambang on Tuesday or Wednesday. Yes, the parents are still going to go with us, as well as his sister who is the seamstress. She has a few clients in Battambang she needs to see. So, it will continue to be a family affair, although his parents and sister will be staying with the mother's sister and family, while Cam and I will be in an Airbnb. Anxious to see how well the description and photos match from Airbnb, and praying for a hot shower.

1 hour ago, jimmie50 said:

things like jars of peanut butter and cans of spam.

To be frank, I wouldn't know what to do with spam either 🤔

3 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

Yes, the parents are still going to go with us, as well as his sister who is the seamstress. She has a few clients in Battambang she needs to see.

Will the sister and other members of Cam's family be staying with you once you have more permanent arrangements wherever Cam decides to settle in Cambodia? And out of curiosity - and no need to answer this if you don't want to - does the sister bear any physical resemblance to Cam or any of the other family members?

7 minutes ago, jimmie50 said:

Cam prefer the black label of Hanuman. Also, I don't know about the blue label, but the pull tab on the black labels sometimes has the number $1 on it which can be exchanged at the store for a free can of the beer. Let me tell you...he has had quite the collection of pull tabs and gotten more than his fair share of free cans over the last 10 days. I would prefer a little less incentive. lol.

I believe you as during my very recent 9 days in Cambodia I managed to collect 5 of those lucky tabs, my boys were thrilled when gifted those

13 hours ago, mauRICE said:

Will the sister and other members of Cam's family be staying with you once you have more permanent arrangements wherever Cam decides to settle in Cambodia? And out of curiosity - and no need to answer this if you don't want to - does the sister bear any physical resemblance to Cam or any of the other family members?

While someone may crash at our apartment on a rare occasion, the plan is to just get a one bedroom similar to what we have been doing on Airbnb rentals. So there will not be a lot of extra room. They are pretty much accustomed to staying with his mother's sister whenever they visit Battambang, so hopefully that will continue. I wouldn't really mind if someone stayed with us...just not the entire brood at one time.

All five siblings look very similar. The three girls are very much like their mother. Even though there is a gap of some 13 or 14 years between Cam and his brother, they really could be twins. They look alike and from a profile definitely have their father's features. Face on I do see their mother, just like the sisters. While it is always a possibility that they are not all biologically related, I don't believe that is the case. His parents have been together some 40 years. Those are rather personal questions that I may be curious about, but would never ask. Same as with his sister who is the seamstress. She and her husband are separated. They have three young boys elementary age. The sister lives with the grandmother. The boys live with their father. She does occasionally have them, but not often. No idea what the story is there, even though I am curious about the situation. I know Cam will sometimes go and visit the boys at school and treat them to like pizza or ice cream, but she did not have them over Pchum Ben and, as far as I know, did not go to see them or spend time with them. Again, while I may g very curious, Cam doesn't talk about the situation so I don't ask any questions. If and when he is ready to share the story with me, I will simply listen but not offer any comments or suggestions other than to provide empathy.

Thank you for sharing. An interesting situation indeed. Does Cam have any gay friends? I don't know about rural Cambodia but in rural Thai villages the gay boys will get together, drink and be Mary/merry. Often there are mixed gatherings, with straights, gays, ladyboys, ladyboys-in-waiting and everything else in-between coming together. They drink, eat, play cards, chequers and takraw.

I practised family law for ten years and one thing I noticed again and again from relationships that have broken down is that one party is upset with the other party for not meeting their expectations, to put it mildly, to the point where the aggrieved party felt that they've put up with enough and the relationship have simply reached a brick wall and they couldn't go on.

When we delved deeper we often found that the problems had started from early on in the relationship, which the aggrieved spouse had failed to communicate to their partner and possibly have corrected. The aggrieved spouse simply accepted the behaviour of the other spouse, let them make the decisions, refused to ask questions, always giving in - slowly but surely allowing the other spouse to assume that his/her behaviour was okay and no adjustments on their part were necessary. In other words, norms were being established and consolidated in the relationship. It gets worse when they have children because the aggrieved spouse will use the kids as a crutch and an excuse not to "rock the boat" for the sake of the children.

Relationship norms once established are very difficult to reverse or correct. By the time the aggrieved party comes to us it is usually too late and separation - and ultimately dissolution - is often the wisest course of action. And the most common thing the opposing party says in their defence is, "Why are you complaining now? You were okay with it for the last ten years so why make noise now?" And they would be right, although I would never tell that to my client.

On 10/17/2026 at 10:17 AM, macaroni21 said:

I wasn't in the least suggesting that. I had written "imagining yourself to be that foreign advisor". My point rides on your keei think your comments about business consultants nly observed notes* about what you're seeing, and how culture and social practices are deeply ingrained in a society and inextricably intertwined with the realities of governance (or lack thereof) the physical environment.

Too often, foreign experts are parachuted into a country to advise on economic development, business consultants parachuted in to increase corporate efficiency -- and also, journalists are parachuted in to "describe" a country to outsiders -- but they have no idea what they're up against. I have often been appalled at how impossible and inappropriate their advice has been. You, on the other hand, planned or unplanned, have planted yourself within a hide (note: British English) as it were, with an unparalleled view of real life.

*keenly observed notes much appreciated and highly instructive. Others (like me) benefit from your observations without having to put up with squat toilets, spotty internet and mosquito nets 🥰Thanks for being such a hero.

On 10/17/2026 at 10:17 AM, macaroni21 said:

I wasn't in the least suggesting that. I had written "imagining yourself to be that foreign advisor". My point rides on your keenly observed notes* about what you're seeing, and how culture and social practices are deeply ingrained in a society and inextricably intertwined with the realities of governance (or lack thereof) the physical environment.

Too often, foreign experts are parachuted into a country to advise on economic development, business consultants parachuted in to increase corporate efficiency -- and also, journalists are parachuted in to "describe" a country to outsiders -- but they have no idea what they're up against. I have often been appalled at how impossible and inappropriate their advice has been. You, on the other hand, planned or unplanned, have planted yourself within a hide (note: British English) as it were, with an unparalleled view of real life.

*keenly observed notes much appreciated and highly instructive. Others (like me) benefit from your observations without having to put up with squat toilets, spotty internet and mosquito nets 🥰Thanks for being such a hero.

You comments about experts and business consultants are of general application! In my business life, so called consultants were usually expensive (McKinseys) and ineffective.

15 hours ago, Keithambrose said:

You comments about experts and business consultants are of general application! In my business life, so called consultants were usually expensive (McKinseys) and ineffective.

Thay are hired so managemen has excuse for decision subsequently taken. In short, thay provide a shield " it was what consultants suggested"

7 minutes ago, vinapu said:

Thay are hired so managemen has excuse for decision subsequently taken. In short, thay provide a shield " it was what consultants suggested"

Yes, I agree 2000%.

Where I worked before retiring - difficult decisions were generally outsourced to the convenient consultant "experts" just to avoid having to take an uncomfortable political stand and to preserve said career.

If things got ugly, they had a convenient scapegoat. If that scapegoat needed to be eliminated for political reasons (uncomfortable truths) then a new one was hired.