traveller123

Gentlemen, I have just returned from Bangkok. My gratitude goes out to all who shared invaluable tips and travel insights, which I studied intently in the month leading up to my journey. Before this, my knowledge of Bangkok was limited to what I had conjured in my imagination, fueled by the song “One Night In Bangkok” that I listened to on repeat as a youngster.
As my 30th birthday approached, I desired an adventure, something wildly enjoyable. Impulsively, I bought a ticket to Bangkok, setting off to create an impromptu plan for my trip a month or so before departure.
Now, back in the northwest USA, I find myself grappling with jetlag, a mix of sexual exhaustion, euphoria, and a surge of existential mania. I'm ready to contribute my own story to the esteemed Gay Guides message board. My hope is that future travelers will gain insight from my experiences – both the successes and the missteps – or perhaps the seasoned veterans will find amusement in the account of a newcomer navigating the renowned sex tourism capital of the world.
Prologue
I am not new to international travel or to the company of escorts, having indulged in both across various continents. However, my experiences had never extended to Asia, a region that has always intrigued me, particularly due to my interest in Asian men. The distance and cultural differences were daunting, but now, having immersed myself in this new environment, I regret not making the journey sooner. 
In short, I am shaken.
Day 1
The anticipation for this trip had been building intensely, fueled by the erotic tales from this message board. I meticulously planned my itinerary, including visits to famed MB Bars and anticipated massage experiences. The flight itself was an endurance test — over 24 hours of a dehydrating, cramped, and stuffy journey, catapulting halfway across the globe through numerous time zones and across the dateline, leaving me questioning the very fabric of reality.
Stepping off the plane, my senses were heightened, and I found myself admiring the uniformed army men and security personnel while navigating customs. My fascination with Asian men was now confirmed as “a thing”.
Prior to my arrival, I had arranged for a Siam Pride Limo Taxi, thinking it necessary to bridge the language barrier in this foreign land. My Day 1 in Bangkok began late at 11:30 PM. To my relief, I soon discovered that most people I encountered spoke excellent English, and that transportation would be one of the easiest aspects of my trip. 
Yet, there was a certain excitement in being greeted at the airport by an attendant holding a sign with my name, and then being ushered into an aged black car with tinted windows, driven by a middle-aged, fit, and stoically silent driver — perfect.
The drive from Suvarnabhumi Airport to my hotel was shrouded in darkness, exacerbated by the tinted windows of the car. The surrounding scenery gave off a melancholic and almost sinister aura, reminiscent of my experiences in São Paulo with its vacant skyscrapers, trash can fires, and eerie silence. But considering it was midnight and I had been awake for over 24 hours, my mind was on the brink of implosion.
Upon arrival at the Ibis Styles Silom Hotel, the mood shifted dramatically. The hotel was bright, modern, and welcoming, staffed by two cheerful attendants who provided exceptional service in perfect English. I chose this hotel as it seemed relatively close to the action and was about $40/night a bargain bin price for a 3-star resort that I would take any day.  However, the room itself was quite compact and only offered a view of the hotels busy looking atrium.  Nevertheless, I enjoyed the site of its jewel box glass shower nestled conveniently next to the queen bed and private toilet tucked in a separate room.  The designer knew what he was doing. 
It was now 3 AM, and I had been awake for more than 30 hours. Weary yet restless, I checked into my room and immediately logged onto Grindr.
The display of muscular, toned, shirtless profiles on my screen was overwhelming. The flurry of messages from eager locals was like nothing I had experienced in other gay neighborhoods. Focused on my purpose, I zeroed in on a profile offering “Massage” services. After all, this was Bangkok, and I was here to immerse myself in the famed experiences the city had to offer.
The masseur, a youthful-looking individual probably in his early twenties, boasted a fitness model's physique, which was evident from his popular Instagram account overflowing with followers. This online presence served as a form of validation for me, and I decided to accept his offer for a 2500 Baht outcall visit. The fact that he was just a block away added to the appeal, as I was eager to get a glimpse of the streets and residential life in this new land.
He was available - NOW!
In a flurry, I quickly freshened up and made my way to his apartment. Upon arrival, I noticed he was shorter than I had anticipated, yet his physique was strikingly chiseled, likely around 8% body fat. He had a pleasantly shy demeanor and his English, while not perfect, was more than adequate.  He walked me to his spartan studio apartment and we stripped down. The massage itself was satisfactory — and playfully frisky.  
He had mentioned it body-to-body and full release.  I did not expect much more than a rub and tug, but after about thirty minutes, he went to town, going down on me.  Oh wow.  Then came the 69.  He allowed me to poke and probe his entire smooth and boyish body with my tongue as he ravaged my cock with his mouth.  Very good!  A climax for both of us.  I tipped him 500 baht, completely forgetting what I learned from this board on how to handle such a custom, and at 5AM, I returned to the hotel with the confident knowledge that Bangkok is the greatest city on Earth.
 

A great less expensive way of seeing the Norwegian coast and fjords is the daily Hurtigruten ferries. Take the amazing train ride from Oslo to Bergen and then stay on the ferry right up past the Arctic Circle to basically the top of the civilised world if you wish. The only problem is that the cabins are very small. But I thoroughly enjoyed my four days November trip some years ago.

After supper at Foodland Patpong, Z and I went into Dreamboys. It was 11 plus and halfway into their show. Fewer customers and fewer guys working as compared to last Friday night. Show about the same. Z enjoyed watching the energetic dance numbers. He sang along to the songs that the ladyboy diva singers sang. He didn't like the erotic cock dancing and big cock show. When macho man in heels appeared, Z was taken aback at first but he enjoyed it as the performance went on. "You want to tip him?" I asked, holding out a 100-baht note. Z said yes and appreciatively handed the tip to macho man in heels on stage.
Z recognised and called out to a Dreamboys guy. "He's my friend. He's from Myanmar." He is one of dancers for Sex Bomb dance and he is a good dancer. We watched him dance and I gave Z a 100-baht note to tip him. I can confirm that Myanmar dancer is not just working at Dreamboys purely as a dancer. He is available for off. He has a number on his white shorts and he went on rotation on stage with the other guys. So it seems that Dreamboys doesn't hire only Thai guys. They have guys from the other countries as well.
At 12.15am, the coyote dancing began signalling the start of the 3rd show of the night. Only 6 guys dancing compared to 9 guys on Friday. When they ended, 3 guys received 100-baht tips each while the best 3 dancers received 1000-baht garlands each to applause.
Z and I left after coyote dancing. I said bye to him. "See you next year, Myanmar boyfriend," I said to him as I hugged him. "See you next year, Singapore boyfriend," he replied.

Although @Moses has come in for a bit of criticism in recent weeks for other issues, he does run the Siam Roads site which provides excellent guides in many cities around Asia. Presently there seem to be three guides in Bangkok and all get very good testimonials from those who have hired them. The guides have fixed daily and evening rates, can take you to all the known and several less-known sights in and around Bangkok. are not avaiable for sex but know and can take you to almost all the gay venues. Not sure of the cost and it seems to vary according to city/country. Plus naturally you pay all the guide's expenses. But I expect overall it's probably less expensive that paying the daily off fees and daily tips to a boy from a bar. Others may now more.
https://siamroads.com

Day 5 (Saturday) - A tale of two Thais
I had pleasure of meeting two very interesting young Thai guys - both in mid 20s. I got to know them through Grinder. They hit me up yesterday and I am only able to meet them today one in late morning and another in evening.
One of them is a masseur at Olivia Massage. Shall call him O after his shop. English is very basic. He uses Google Translate when he messages me. But to be frank, during massage and sex, language does not matter. O is a cute twink. Very friendly and loves to kiss! Hardworking as well. Strong massage strokes. I had him come/cum (Lol!) to my hotel room for massage in day time so I had to pay an off fee to shop. O loved doing massage in hotel room. He took pictures and videos of city from window of room. After leaving, O sent me a message: "Let me know in advance when you want me to go your hotel. I can go before work or after work. I can also go during lunch break. You no need pay my shop."
The other young Thai guy I met speaks fluent English. He even types all his messages in English. He is the epitome of the young modern educated Thai person. He has travelled to all of the major countries in Asia except China and he has even been to a number of European countries. He studied aircraft engineering and works at airport where he stays nearby. He is looking for an older boyfriend after some previous relationships. We talked about interests and personal life and I found him to be a remarkable young man. He came from a complicated family background and is currently out on his own. His name starts with L but to differentiate him, shall refer to him as L+. When I complimented him on his achievements at such a young age, he was on the verge of tears and hugged me tightly. I think not many people have given him positive affirmation in his life. I hope he finds the right guy for his boyfriend and happiness together.
O and L+ are two Thai gay guys whom I will not forget and I suspect I will be keeping in touch with them for years to come. Most of the guys I got to know well during my trips to Bangkok are not Thai (and not gay!) They are mostly from Myanmar and Vietnam (due largely to their English proficiency). There are Laos and Cambodia guys I know as well but I need Google Translate when I meet them.
Oh yes, report on night activities - I was at Screwboys after supper at Foodland Patpong with fellow forum member. But no.93 wasn't there. Hopefully he will turn up tomorrow.

Meanwhile new feedback on Sunny's tour to Ayutthaya from Bangkok:

 
Sunny's profile and photos are here: https://siamroads.com/guide-in-bangkok-sunny-thailand/

Warning to all, stay on the original topic and not politics. Further discussion about Russia in this thread will be removed. Moses is allowed to have his viewpoint on politics and that need not be brought into Siam Roads threads each time.
For the record: Russians are hated. Americans are hated. French are hated. on and on I could go. I think we are all hated by some to a degree. Except the Brazilians. Damn, that is either amazing or they are so fucking hot no one cares.
 

Indeed. The online geriatrics who warble on about how great the attitudes of the boys where 30 or 40 years ago seem to forget that they were 30 or 40 years younger than and 30 or 40 years less revolting to the Thai guys back then. Expecting a boy in his 20s to have the same reaction to a 70 year old as we would to an average guy in his 30s, 40s or even 50s is just silly.
Then you have the geriatrics who comfort themselves by saying "old people are respected in Thailand"; and that is perfectly true. Respect, however, does not mean that they are going to be enthusiastic about fucking you.
Equally delusional are the ones who think that just because the boys are there for the money, they are somehow blind or indifferent to whom they are servicing - or, rather, to whom is requesting their services. We all work for money, we all turn down jobs where we are put-off by the work or the client - or we demand an extra high price for doing it to make-up for our revulsion or lack of enthusiasm. It works the same way with boys. When I read reports about boys quoting "ridiculous" prices or showing a lack of enthusiasm, it often seems lost on the poster that he is simply sending a message that he is not interested in going with you  - it isn't a bad attitude in general, it's just a lack of enthusiasm for you. Boys are not machines with no personal preferences.
Of course, there are also guys who would genuinely prefer to go with an older man with a wrinkled, hairy, sagging arse than a fit younger guy if the oldie has the better attitude. In general though, it makes sense to adjust your expectations to where you are in life. Honestly, how enthusiastic would you be about getting into bed with what you see starting back at you in the mirror?
The corollary to that is those whining about the decline or death of the Thai scene. That reality is that the scene is doing just fine and most boys have great attitudes and the moaners are going to be dead long before the Thai scene is.
All the above applies as much to prospects at Chakran and Krubb as it does to the commercial scene.

I dont believe anyone anywhere is "below" me.

Don't be so pissy. Chill. This is how forums work. They all go off topic. It's how conversations work. You start a conversation, but don't get to dictate what everyone says or how the conversation drifts.
People were trying to be helpful, or just commenting and you act like everybody has taken a dump in your corn flakes.
Take the advice, or ignore it, but but getting up in arms because somebody gives you advice you can't use is kinda silly.
 

Cont...
Jupiter : I was also there twice, once on a weekday and once on a weekend. 1st drink was at THB 500. I didn't off anyone here as well. The models were all gorgeous that I don't think there's any single one that I wouldn't want to off 😅. Possibly the most number of models out of all the bars I managed to check out. On both days, there were a lot of patrons here (compared to other bars). Particularly on the weekend, it was so full that the waiters were struggling to find places to sit the incoming patrons. The shows were great, a mix of sexy shows and drag performances. I would echo the observations of other members on the general lack of smile or eye contact by models (I was seated facing the centre of the runway such that the models, when doing their rounds, would be seeing me face to face at a point but not a single one smiled). All in all, I had a good time there admiring the models and enjoying the shows. One thing I would note is that, perhaps a little different from what I've read previously, there were not that many female patrons on the weekday when I was there (I'd say less than 10, in a packed bar).
Hotmale : I was only here once on a weekday, close to midnight. It was after their show. There were probably less than 15 models there, and only a few other patrons. Drink prices were the same as others and I didn't off anyone here. The models were a mix of the generally fit/athletic type and twinks, and probably the most enthusiastic out of all the bars I went to. They would try to win your attention as much as they could while on stage.
 
Dreamboy : I also went here twice, once on a weekday and once on a weekend. Drinks were a little more expensive at THB 550 on both days. There was a variety of models available for off, ranging from twinks to jocks to muscle guys. I find the shows here to be the most interesting out of all (with the pyro act and flying angels etc.). Some of the models on stage will try to make eye contact and flash a smile, but others seemed rather disinterested. At least none were on their phone while on stage. There were quite a few I would love to off next time.
 
Moonlight : I went here twice as well. The drinks were priced at THB 500. I did off a boy from here (his drink + off fee = THB 900, if I'm not mistaken). The captain was very informative about the boys (who tops, btms etc.), told me about the minimum tip expected for an off (THB 2,500) and even went to pull out additional photos of the boys from his phone. The boys are generally of the same type as Jupiter. The guy I offed told me he remembered seeing me the previous day I was there (and he was right on when that was) so maybe the boys do take note of who sits in the audience? I noticed one particular boy who did give a lot of eye contact and smiles on and off stage, but I didn't off him this round (I went with the captain's recommendation). The shows were alright but maybe because I've seen videos of their models before that it wasn't that exciting in person. 
My ST experience with the boy was also good, and I would definitely off him again. It helped that I clarified what I was expecting to do with him at the bar, to which he confirmed to be OK with him. He is friendly and spoke fairly decent English.
 
Massage
I only managed to check out one massage centre, Arena.
The boys were all muscular guys that I could've easily gone with any of them. I chose one fair skinned Thai from the north and took the 1 hour VIP room oil milk massage (around THB 900 - big room and comes with tea/coffee. But for some reason, the shower room smelled a little off that even my guy commented on it). I was told that the minimum tip was THB 1000. His massage was a little too light for my liking (had to nudge him to increase the pressure) but it wasn't really bad (since I just wanted a relaxing massage anyway). The afters were alright, with some foreplay before he finished me off. He offered to finish as well for some extra tip (as it was pretty early in the afternoon) but I declined. I did still tip him more than the minimum since I enjoyed his company and conversation (even with limitations in the language department).
Those were some of my observations on the gogo bars and massage centre that I went to. I am already looking forward to my 2024 trips there, as there were a lot of guys from the bars I would love to off.

Hello Everyone
I'm devastated to have just returned home from a trip to BKK. I hadn't been since 2019 and definitely made up for lost time. It was sad to see Soi Twilight gone since I was last there, but also exciting to see new (and old) bars sprouting up across the street.

I don't do massage places, so this is just some notes on the bars I visited

Dreamboys
Dreamboys (original) was the first bar I ever visited in BKK, and we've made a tradition of always visiting here on our first night. I always remember this place more for its crazy shows - like where the big inflatable cock squirted water over everyone. That seems gone now sadly. New venue is a good size. Boys are of mixed type. I'm concious from other threads that the owner fired non-Thai boys. I met one Viet working in Fresh Boys who said he had been let go from Dreamboys recently, but didn't elaborate, so this might be related.
 
Jupiter
Probably the bar that excites me the most and frustates me the most in all of Bangkok. Most of the guys here are undoubtely gorgeous - straight looking, athletic, confident types - some very good looking. This bar has a slightly cooler atmosphere to it. Some members complain about perhaps the boys being too... modelly. I get that. But they work for me.
I have to say that their shows are the sexiest. I find most bars don't use best looking boys for the shows (maybe the best looking boys are not the best performers) but in Jupiter, the guys performing are great.
The guys are all shirtless and will do 3 or 4 parades around the bar - sometimes in pants, and sometimes in jeans. Always seemed to be busy. We visited 3 times - even early in the week at 10, and could barely get a seat!
But I find this place frustrating because the best looking guys almost always seemed to be taken quickly (or reserved) by high-rollers, VIPs, or rowdy tables of young women. Only on the last night, did one of the mamasans show any interest in asking us if we we wanted anything. He took me "shopping" backstage to find boy I liked. Worked out in the end...
On a side note, a couple of guys I was interested were performers, but did not wear numbers on their jeans on the final "walk" of the night. Could not tell if they were simply non-offable performers, or perhaps if they were already taken. Does anyone know why they walk without numbers?
On a second side note - some v cute, young-looking waiters - with numbers. Strange mix. I would imagine that the people coming to see the guys at Jupiter, would not be interested in this type.

Moonlight
I like the atmosphere in this bar. Even on a late weekday night, the place was busy with all kinds of customers, and everyone excited to see the performers. I have to admit, I had grown tired of seeing all the usual "superstars" in pics and videos online. But they still put on a great show. And seeing Babe perform again in person - he is beautiful. That smile!
The selection of boys is good looking - feel like they have a similar vibe to Jupiter - the kind of guys young female tourists want to drink with. Most wore jeans & t-shirts.

Tawan
Only visited here once. Only ever visit here once on any trip. I take a notion to see these big guys out of curiosity, but ultimately bodybuilders are not my type, and the show is too rough for me - it had whipping, cigarettes, wax etc.

As some members have pointed out, I did see one twink here - but he seemed to be the bottom for the muscle boys. He got carrieed around the room, table to table, for tips, while being f*cked.
 
Fresh Boys
Really liked the selction of guys here. Almost totally twinks (some twunks). All shirtless. They did a big cock show where they whack their dicks against a metal pole. Ouch.
 
Hot Male
Only visited here once, briefly, after midnight. The guys were attractive and nice bodies. I didn't see much of interest for myself, but I don't want to say its indicative of the bar, given how late I visited.
 
Screw Boy
First revalation of the trip. I don't know why I didn't visit here on previous trips. I sometimes got a sense from this forum that this bar was seedy or low class or something, so I was never really inclined to go. We ended up here somewhat accidentally when, after leaving a last minute, post-midnight trip to Fresh Boys, empty-handed, a hawker grabbed us surreptitiously on the staircase. "Show at 1!" So we went in. Really liked this place. I was delighted, not just to find a bar that opened later than the others on this street (they do shows at 1 am), but it had lots of really cute young guys, a fun atmostphere (opposite of cool atmosphere of Jupiter), 2 fun, friendly mamasans, good music and also a young male performer who looked like he could be an idol or something (later discovered he is a male performer on the Ladyboys of Bangkok tour). The guys all wore matching white baseketball outfits. Visited here 3 times.

Banana Bar
Second revalation of the trip. I was not going to go to this bar because there was nothing written about it in the forums that made it particularly stand out to me. But I was left alone by my friend one night of the trip because of a business meeting. After a drink alone at Connections Bar on Soi 4, I decided to wander in and had a great night. Beautiful ladyboys and performers, who had toured the UK as part of "The Ladyboys of Bangkok". Main performer very handsome. Waiters were friendly. And also I was startled to meet the mamasan here who used to work in X-Boys. I spoke to her about some of the changes since I had last been here. Of course a lot of money was spent. Amateur.

Went back second night, but attention was on a VIP table. Mamasan told us same customer had spent 100k tips on a previous night. Wow.

Had the same big cock pole whacking show as Fresh Boys.
 
G's
Third revelation of the trip. Sorry, I know this isn't about a bar - but I had never been to G's restaurant before on Soi 4. My friend and I went one night and got German/Thai fusion dishes which were delicious. Fully intended to go here again, but didn't due to other commitments, but this will definitely be a stop for dinner on the next trip. Recommended!
 
Did not get to visit Sol or New Twilight unfortunately.
 
Frustations with "Line" - had line contact for one of the Moonlight stars but when I logged into a very old account, it wouldn't let me add new contacts. So I tried to sign out and back in again, but said my account was blocked for 58 days. End of that adventure.
 
Very sad and exhausted to be home now. But hope you enjoy my notes.
 

I have Jewish relatives, who lost almost all of their family in the Holocaust. They never talked about it. Demons of the past is a good phrase. 

Haven’t posted a feel good animal story in a while but I think this fits the bill.
==========
 
From The Thaiger / Khaosod English

The tale of Kanya, the lost wild elephant calf, has come to a joyful conclusion.Found wandering in a rice field in the Bueng Kan province, she has now joined a new family in Chiang Mai. The journey of Kanya, from Bueng Kan to Chiang Mai, is one worth revisiting.
Kanya’s story began on the morning of September 12, when villagers found her alone in a rice field near the Phu Wua Wildlife Sanctuary in Bueng Kan province. Local officials, alongside the central inspection officers of the Phu Wua Wildlife Sanctuary, located a two-month-old female elephant calf, with no signs of her mother nearby.
They set up a temporary enclosure for Kanya, named after the month she was found, and monitored her in hopes her mother would return. However, by the morning of September 13, her mother had not returned.
Officials coordinated with veterinarians from the 10th Animal Hospital to examine Kanya and decide on a course of action. Health checks revealed that Kanya was relatively weak, suffering from diarrhoea, battlewounds, and inflammation of the eye tissue.   Despite her condition, she was observed calling out for her mother periodically. Around-the-clock care was provided by the team of veterinarians, with her health gradually improving. In early November, Teerapat Trangprakarn, owner of the Patara Elephant Conservation in Chiang Mai, offered to let Kanya live with a mother elephant who had recently given birth. This was coordinated through Kanjana Silpa-archa, allowing Kanya to drink the mother elephant’s milk and consume her dung, crucial for a calf’s immune system development and learning to live independently.
Before her relocation, Kanya was closely monitored by a team of veterinarians to ensure she was healthy and ready for the journey. The transfer from Phu Wua Wildlife Sanctuary in Bueng Kan to the Patara Elephant Conservation in Chiang Mai was meticulously planned, with a vet accompanying her throughout the journey and regular stops every three hours to check her condition.
Kanya was prepared for her journey to the elephant farm in Chiang Mai yesterday at 3pm. She swiftly entered the transport vehicle within a minute, accompanied by a convoy of five vehicles, including the Phu Wua Wildlife Sanctuary head, the Phu Luang Wildlife Research Station, the vehicle carrying Kanya, a team of vets, and the director of the Wildlife Conservation Division.
Today, Kanya arrived at the Patara Elephant Conservation farm. She was greeted with milk and six caregivers to prevent attachment to any particular individual. Once she’s familiar with her new surroundings, she will be introduced to her adoptive mother, reported KhaoSod.

is sad but quite often people who went through extreme situations are reluctant to talk about them . I guess it their way of going forward without raising demons of the past.
My grandfather  , WW I veteran when asked one  by us granchildren why he doesn't want to tell us about the war cut us shortly " every guy with gun during war killed many people" and then we never asked again.  

unfortunately that regret is almost universal, we all have it and heard from our parents and grandparents have the  same regrets and it is always too late to ask

I think many of us have similar regrets, although both my grandfathers had died before I was born. My father, a doctor, enlisted at the start of WWII. He was sent with the 340,000 or so to France as part of the British Expeditionary Force in 1939. He was doubly unfortunate in that he had just got married and was soon to learn that my older sister was on the way. Then, as the Germans advanced in 1940 and Churchill realised he had to evacuate the British troops from Dunkirk, a small detachment was sent west to the port city of St. Valery-en-Caux where it was believed they could be more quickly evacuated. But so much attention was placed on Dunkirk that more than 10,000 at St. Valery had to surrender. They were all captured.
My father then spent the next four years in prisoner-of-war camps, ending in one near Gdansk where he was liberated by the advancing Russians. Following his reunion with his wife and daughter, my brother and I eventually came along. But apart from a week-end reunion which he aways attended, we learned precious little about those four years. It was almost as though he did not want to talk about them. After his death in the 1970s, we assumed his memories died with him.
But after my brother retired, he became much more interested in family history. Over the years, he has talked with a handful of fellow prisoners-of-war and others associated with that war. He has now amassed a very large collection, part of which he has privately published and which will all eventually become part of a book. As a doctor, my father was duty bound not to escape, He had to look after his fellow prisoners. But he did help quite a number escape by, for example, placing cuts on tongues and telling his captors that the man suffered from epilepsy. He even helped those who had been circumcised appear uncircumcised! It is a fascinating story. The sad thing is that like @traveller123's father and grandfather most such often heroic tales have gone untold.

One of my regrets in life is that I never took the time to talk to my Grand dad (who I was close to and saw every week) about his war time experiences as a Tommy in WW1. I believe he told the recruiting office he was 18 when in fact he was only 16.
It was the same with my Dad who during WW2 was a radio officer in the Merchant Navy sailing in convoys across the Atlantic and sailing to India, Egypt and no doubt many other countries

One of my regrets in life is that I never took the time to talk to my Grand dad (who I was close to and saw every week) about his war time experiences as a Tommy in WW1. I believe he told the recruiting office he was 18 when in fact he was only 16.
It was the same with my Dad who during WW2 was a radio officer in the Merchant Navy sailing in convoys across the Atlantic and sailing to India, Egypt and no doubt many other countries

One of my regrets in life is that I never took the time to talk to my Grand dad (who I was close to and saw every week) about his war time experiences as a Tommy in WW1. I believe he told the recruiting office he was 18 when in fact he was only 16.
It was the same with my Dad who during WW2 was a radio officer in the Merchant Navy sailing in convoys across the Atlantic and sailing to India, Egypt and no doubt many other countries

Was he the Mandarin-speaking Caucasian fellow who used to emcee/provide commentary for the shows at the old DB? That dude was hilarious. When a particularly big drag queen came thundering down the spiral staircase, the flimsy stage shuddering with her every step, he would recite in a complete monotone, in near pitch-perfect Mandarin: "Here comes the big elephant. <pause> Here comes the big elephant." I had to lower my head to hide my laughter, for fear that the drag queen in question would leap off the catwalk to beat the sh*t out of me. 

I’ve gradually come around to the belief that this is precisely how Hamas figured it would play out. 
Given Israel’s consistent history of rapid and overwhelming response, how could they possibly believe otherwise.
Hamas’ goal was to sacrifice its own citizens to bring about unrest throughout the Mideast and beyond. And although they invited the disaster that’s unfolding daily, they way well be on their way to their ultimate objective.

I am continuing this thread, but the turn of the discussion might better fit under ‘Can we ever understand the Thais?’
After some time back in Bangkok it is clear that the issue with the apartment is a little bit Chinese, but a lot more family.
Getting that clarity has been an entertainingly circular process because of Bangkok Guy’s indirectness and his chronic inability to work out his priorities and make quick decisions.
It is just as well that I like him and accept the non-linear nature of his decision making, so that I find the process of discovering what he is actually thinking entertaining.
First day back we spent a couple of hours looking at apartments on-line and it seemed to me the process was going in circles. Bangkok Guy was just not consistent in what he seemed to want.
So out with the spreadsheet to tabulate what we both prioritized in an apartment.
The obvious difference is that I prioritize the amenities – swimming pool, meeting room – and he doesn’t, and I am very flexible on location while he wants an apartment along a defined but longish stretch of the metro because he has friends in the area.
The less obvious bit was the permissible Chinese representation and the size/# of bedrooms.
It was soon clear that while a high Chinese representation was not desirable, the Chinese presence was not the real issue. Apartment size trumped Chinese and apartments in older buildings were larger and so more desirable than smaller apartments in newer buildings with more amenities.
Then the first brick dropped.
Bangkok Guy’s mother is moving back to Issan and his sister needs somewhere to stay. It is his responsibility to make sure she has somewhere and to keep an eye on her. “I not have choice”.
Ok, but then we need two bedrooms, which fits into the budget, so no problem. Well a bit of one as I would prefer just the two of us, but his sister is pleasant and he feels responsible.
‘Not need two bedrooms, sister can sleep in living room. Two bed too expensive. Just need larger apartment’.
No, we need two bedrooms. I’m not walking around your sister and I need a space to work.
I pointed to one of the apartments that he had first shown me – modern building, all the amenities I want and two bedrooms within budget – this one works.
But somehow now it didn’t work, older buildings with large 1 bedroom apartments were inexplicably better, so we left it in illogical suspension for a day.
When I don’t understand something with Bangkok Guy, give it some time and the fog usually clears.
At the end of a day in Silom/Sathorn for shopping and dining and jazz Bangkok Guy announced that I needed to live in Sathorn. “It where shopping and restaurants and jazz is, you like. And White People live (he always uses White People, not Falang to refer to Europeans)”.
But what about you, it is not the area you want, it is long way from friends?    ‘I take metro’.
“Also is too far from (sister’s) university. She can have own apartment near university and we live Sathorn”
But don’t you have to supervise her?  Some squirming body language from Bangkok Guy.
I need you to be happy, can’t get new apartment and then you worry about sister and want to change again. Finding accommodation for sister make you happy?   “Yes”
Have sister live with us make you happy?   A guilty look and “Happy but only a little bit”
Ok, so we can get two apartments, one for your sister and one for us, or we can get one apartment with two bedrooms. Cost same, you choose (It does cost the same but our apartment is much better than sister’s).
“Cannot choose, you have to choose”.
And the second brick drops.
Bangkok Guy wants it to be just the two of us, but he can’t conscientiously make that decision.
But if I, a White Person, need to live in Sathorn with other White People, then that is too far from university and it becomes logical for sister to have her own apartment. She has been housed, but not chaperoned, for reasons outside of his control.
Coincidentally Sathorn has a stock of older larger 1 bedroom apartments, who knew?
 In a non-linear, indirect and indecisive way Bangkok Guy had been building his way to this solution.
He is now happily looking for apartments in Sathorn, nest building for his preferred number, 2.
His sister is a solidly sensible young woman, who happens to like other women, and so probably does not need a chaperone.

I really can't stand all this technology stuff, I much prefer to deal with a human being.

With only a few more days left in Bangkok, I thought it might be interesting to a few to pen a few notes.  Please forgive that they are unstructured.  I hope to understand more from the distinguished posters here present for my next trip or perhaps my last few days here. For context, this is my fourth trip to Bangkok.  My first two trips were for weekends and my second was for a week so I do not try to compete with the experience on this forum.  I cannot commit to a daily report but I am visiting some other countries in South East Asia during my time away and I will try to do the same while travelling.  
 
Before flying from London Heathrow, I jumped at the chance to spend a few days with friends in Oxford as I would be in the UK anyway.  I can highly recommend the ‘Oxford Tube’ as a means of transport, which actually a bus!  It took me from central London, where I had stayed for two nights of tourism to the beautiful city of Oxford in an hour and a half.  Returning from Oxford to Heathrow required a change at Hillingdon station and one more bus for the princely sum of less than 2GBP.  Grindr in Oxford was full of handsome, university types and it was interesting to see many described themselves as ‘trans’, ‘non-binary’ or ‘queer’ despite presenting as a masculine.  Grindr in London was very busy and it was pan-European in nature, despite Brexit!  For those interested, I gathered that the going rate was about 150-200GBP though I did not partake.  
 
Eva Air direct to Suvarnabhumi on their business class product was efficient, friendly and comfortable.  The food was good, the wine flowed and the flight landed right on time after a good night of sleep.  Arrivals was very busy, there was a 10 minute wait at the fast track section but the bags were quick - so quick in fact that most people had not made it through security. 
 
I’ve been staying at Le Méridien, and it is good.  I like the evening pizza menu and breakfast is very good.  I’m not sure there has been much benefit to my suite upgrade, I have barely used the lounge and the men I have brought back to the room have on more than one occasion have been confused about why one person would need so much space (I think even regarding it as an unnecessary extravagance).  No problem with guests, key cards required for the lift, friendly staff.  Lots of gay folk, as I type from the ground floor I am looking at a middle aged guy European couple walking together wearing rainbow pins and holding hands.  Last time I stayed at Raya but I would choose here next time and save a few THB in a standard room.  The lounge is very nice and if I have time I will post a picture from the lounge, which I think may be a fair challenge for the ‘best view from a toilet’ posts previously seen on this forum.    
 
I am ambitious to become a flâneur (I cannot think of an English equivalent) in my later life and there is no better city than Bangkok to practice.  I’ve enjoyed (most of the time) my solitude, thoughts, my wandering, my coffee, my aimlessness and people-watching.  Today, for example, consider Soi 4.  At around noon, a large gathering of very smartly-dressed business types in designer suits queued for street food.  Interested, I wandered down the Soi to see about four carts in front of Banana Bar and other venues in the Soi.  It seemed to the most popular place for these hi-so workers for miles.  I wonder if these distinguished folk know the depravity that takes place just a few short hours after they have gathered their tasty morsels?  I imagine they know all-too-well and care little - and this is why I love Bangkok! I enjoy these aimless considerations.  
 
I felt something was ‘off’ about Tawan compared to my previous visits (when this was my favourite bar).  I have since read that the papasan in the beret, that I have before met, has recently passed away sadly and this is probably why. Much lenience is required, I suspect he was well-loved by staff. I have not stayed for a show but when visiting earlier in the evening the men working are less likely to sit alongside customers than in my previous visits.  Some older Thai men take the place of papasan but do not occupy the attention of customers. The place is looking more dishevelled than before.  That has, though, always been part of its charm.  I have a fond (?) memory of walking up the stairs from the bar to a room for a massage (if I assure you that it was virtuous, you will not believe me).  A large rat ran over my foot, leading to my loud screams and a look of horror at my exclamation from the masseur.  Happy memories.  
 
I have not found a guy to take home yet from Tawan as their huddle of men now includes a number of twinks, which are not my type.  I did have an interesting moment with a man who I think said his name was David.  He was my type and I was leaving the bar, having concluded after one drink that enough was enough.  He chased me down the road, threw his arms around me and told me he was horny.  My intention, of course, was to take a man to the room to discuss neoclassicalism’s influence on 18th century Greek literature so this admission of horny-ness took me rather by surprise.  I declined the offer, wrongly now I think about it, as I was in the mindset of marching to HotMale determinedly.  I will try Tawan again and hope that this is a temporary situation caused by the loss of a formidable figure.  
 
HotMale beer bar is still a good spot with fairly priced drinks, smiling staff and good views.  I was surprised to see cannabis being smoked at the tables (only by one group of customers on one day).  There is a very handsome man who seems to stay behind the bar there, preparing drinks rather than waiting tables.  I have been trying hard to have eye contact with him, succeeding often, but receiving a nonchalant response.  Perhaps my portly (read: fat) build is off-putting or the stars just do not align.  I will not give up yet.  Advice welcome.  
 
HotMale’s gogo has been the surprise of my trip, in a good way.  The men on stage are keen to smile and engage with eye contact, are engrossed in securing your attention and not on their phones.  Though they are thin in number, there is something for everyone and especially for me (preferring 25-45, handsome, not thin, Dadbod or muscular-but-not-too-muscular types).  Smoking being allowed will be an irritant for some, but the papasan is flexible about reseating (and it has never been busy enough for this to be a problem). 
 
The HotMale ensemble are mostly topless and wearing fetching, pillar-box red sweatpants.  The show is awkward when it is quiet but ends well with an explicit fanfare that even would make my old Aunt Agatha blush (and she a woman with a remarkable, audacious character).  I had one strange experience with a guy I offed from HotMale when motivated by the aforementioned explicit display.  His girth, so to speak, was impressive from a distance.  Back in the hotel, just as we made progress with a particularly challenging logarithmic identity, I became distracted.  Something about this girth was not quite right.  It wasn’t that there were beads or noticeable defects, but the thickness seemed somehow artificial and not in keeping with the rest of the member concerned.  He was a good egg, and no harm was done.  He showed me his Lao passport which revealed both that he was aged 29 but also that he was considerably more handsome now than when the picture was taken a number of years ago!  
 
FreshBoys has the same loud and irritating mamasan and her interest in me has been only for the purpose of generating tips.  The men are young, I would say 20-25, predisposed to mobile-phone addiction at all times when not on the stage though smiles are frequent.  I am unlikely to revisit but this place will be a gem for some.  
 
The new Sol Bar is interesting and I have no conclusions.  From a distance (that is to say the HotMale beer bar) the men look handsome on the balcony, are mostly topless and I really like the shorts with numbers on rather than the usual badges.  Inside, I had a different experience on my one visit.  In some way, the lighting is not flattering and the building looks more downtrodden than when it was Dream Boys.  Somehow, I have not yet been able to bring myself to have more than one drink but my reason is not rational and based on some ‘feeling’.  I will try again.  
 
I have not yet made it to the Dream Boy show but will before I leave and update.  I cannot be motivated to go to Jupiter or Moonlight but I must do so because the men are hot and I have seen good reports recently.  My struggle is the passive, unsmiling approach I previously saw when visiting.  Also, I feel the men are hoping a woman will ‘off’ them, there being so many and the men being straight, and I will therefore be a disappointment.  Advice welcome.
 
I would also like advice on the language barrier.  I am almost ready to ask the mama/papasans which men speak English well.  I think this relates to another problem.  My ‘offs’ have been gratifying, but short with little room for conversation.  Yesterday, I had to use Google Translate ask the guy if he wanted a drink from the minibar.  My ‘offs’ last half an hour usually and I am craving more (they are probably enjoying the easy cash!). Though I don’t want LT, I cannot sleep unless alone.   
 
On my first visit a few years ago, I think I got lucky and saw the same man three or four times (now sadly ‘gone’ as per the report of the papasan) and we went for a few drinks before our deliberations on counterurbanisation in the room began.  I enjoyed his company and sense of fun.  This has not happened naturally for me yet. I would like company than extends beyond 30 minutes in the room talking through a phone. Advice welcome.
 
Although I have adjusted to the jetlag, I do also have a dilemma about adjusting to how late everything happens.  I am trying to dine around 2030, as things just don’t begin here until about 2230.  I cannot do a 2am finish and a breakfast that finishes at 10am!  I need more to be occupied with between 1700-2200 and cannot drink alcohol during this time as I will be drunk by midnight!  
 
I will post again and await thoughts and advice eagerly.