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Bangkok Trip Report: To Butterfly or not to Butterfly Part 2 – The Devil and the Angel

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 when late, up to 2 hours.

 

 

in such a case I'd be gone from my room after 1/2 hr of waiting for a boy unless we had meeting scheduled in the dead of night, then I just would go to sleep.

 

Actually happened once, boy asked to leave at midnight  with promise to return in 1 hr but did not show up until 4 , long after I gave up and fall asleep. I was even a bit worried since he did not collect his tip but all finished well with him staying till something like 11-12 which I loved because I like morning gymnastics.

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Public Displays of Affection

 

"didn’t let him hold my hand this time though. I felt a little bit shy if there were people in close quarters seeing this PDA."

Thailand is the most gay tollerent country in the world really nobodys cares if you and your boy walk holding hands there is nothing to be a shame of beeing gay I am little bit disappointed from you here...

 

I think there is a difference between tolerance and just plain appropriateness. Thailand may be one of the more tolerant countries in terms of gay people and relationships, but that doesn't mean it is appropriate to flaunt it anywhere I want. It is appropriate to hold  a boy's hand or give pecks in the cheek to show affection when at dinner or in a movie house, but maybe not in the confines of the BTS or elevator with a captive audience who has to see all this PDA while waiting for the next station or floor. I certainly feel uncomfortable if a couple, any couple, would start smooching in an elevator. It may be tolerated, but it is not appropriate.

 

555
You are at the very risky ground, Boy69 :)

 

I have a general rule: I let the local decide what is appropriate for PDA in his country, with certain exceptions. I can assume that a country is super tolerant, like Thailand, but I won't start holding the local's hand until he starts it. I'm generally respectful of the country I am in regardless of my preconceived thoughts about said country. If MonBoy deems it appropriate he holds my hand while walking on the sidewalks of Siam Paragon (outside Silom), then I am OK with it. 

 

With that said, I always like it when a boy I am with (including my boyfriend) holds my hand in public while we walk to where we are going. It makes me feel that we are still thinking about each other while we are exploring. But i rarely initiate this, unless I am in Silom or Castro or Chueca or SoHo, where all the gays are at.

 

tolerance is one thing but public display of affection is not really done in Thailand

Not really. It's a very conservative Buddhist country and outside of the gay areas I think the locals would not appreciate any shenanigans.

 

This is my assumption in any country I am in, unless proven otherwise by my local companion.

 

I walked many times holding hands with boys in Thailand with no issue at all , many times even received nice smiles from Thai people looking at us ,the Thai calture is less tolerance to kissing in public but holding hands or showing genetle affection is totally acceptable.

 

Again: acceptable vs. appropriate are two different things.

 

Just don't push things to far... I can assure you even in Bangkok, there is one guy that will punch you in the face. Been there, seen that! 

Samebb above is right. Hand holding in public is almost never seen , even in Pattaya.

 

I walked with boy holding hands only once , it was short stretch from Screwboys to Take-a-Nap, at midnight and entirely in boy's initiative and still I did not feel that comfortable even if boy was of quite mature age (`30).

 

On another had , on quite a few occasions I sensed that boy is not that comfortable to even be seen walking with me  so I let him to walk a bit ahead or behind, in two cases / the same boy / we even walked on opposite sides of Suriwong at his request and I could see why - he was stopped few times by some acquaintances so likely did not want to be seen with farang . And again we are not talking about boy looking and being  on rather young side.  

 

So yes , advice of not pushing things too far is sensible one.

 

I don't know how many times I've walked out of Boyztown in Pattaya with the boy of the night holding hands with me on our way to the (former) Marriott. It is a short walk sure, but those boys seemed conformable enough to hold hands. I didn't complain. But I am not farang-looking so, YMMV. But as vinapu and samebb have said, do not push things too far. I never initiate the contact.

 

Other than boy-boy relationship, farang-thai relationship, and older-younger relationship, there are varying level of acceptance of each of these by the boy and bystanders alike. Like samebb mentioned, asean generally have unbiased respect for elders regardless who or what race u are, hence the smiles u might get from anyone there really.

 

I think this is the key: varying levels of acceptance of the public to the relationship. That's why being respectful regardless of where you are is the most important thing to do. 

 

This is a great post. It is easy to forget working boys often have other lives away from twilight. Day jobs. Family. With namazu and monboy it's a little different because neither are thai. Having said that even I was taken back at the level of effection monboy was throwing at namazu.

 

MonBoy kept telling me over and over that our PDA was acceptable in Thailand, and not in his country Myanmar. So he enjoys doing the PDA when he can. And yes samebb, his own brand of PDA is above and beyond anything I have experienced. It was too much actually, but I really enjoyed the attention for sure. I think he enjoyed my reluctance to the extreme PDA, and he wanted to push it further and further to see if I will crack under the pressure. I was actually embarrassed to do it in front of you and Victory. I think Victory was the most embarrassed because he grew up with MonBoy and hasn't seen this side of him. We must have looked like sex-hungry animals to you guys (and we were, but still).

 

It's simple. If you feel uncomfortable and don't want to do something. Don't do it and you will be okay.

 

And this is the best advice of all. 

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I don't know how many times I've walked out of Boyztown in Pattaya with the boy of the night holding hands with me on our way to the (former) Marriott. It is a short walk sure, but those boys seemed conformable enough to hold hands. I didn't complain. But I am not farang-looking so, YMMV.

and much younger so walking hand in hand seems to be more natural but when generations are crossed in places like Pattaya or Silom ghetto it has 'money boy and his john' stamp some may not be comfortable with, all three. boy , client and passersby.

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Monboy came from a more restrictive country to Thailand. He too is a foreigner. Being young and excited about the perceived freedom of his adopted country, he may be exaggerating, to himself as well as others, the acceptability of PDA. In addition, you are younger and probably better looking than 90% of money boy clients, so he may be flaunting you a bit to the other money boys and locals. This of course wouldn't at all take away from the fact that he likes you and is a sex hungry animal. :-)

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Monboy came from a more restrictive country to Thailand. He too is a foreigner. Being young and excited about the perceived freedom of his adopted country, he may be exaggerating, to himself as well as others, the acceptability of PDA. In addition, you are younger and probably better looking than 90% of money boy clients, so he may be flaunting you a bit to the other money boys and locals. This of course wouldn't at all take away from the fact that he likes you and is a sex hungry animal. :-)

Sometimes (it happend to more then once) Thai money boys are sick of their job and if nice falang client come over they will do all they can to make him fall in love with them so they can leave more convient life and convenience the falang to support them and their family. they just forget that most of us come for short holiday and can't make such a commitment and most of us are not rich and can't support extravagant lifestyle.

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Guest samebb

Bangkok does feel a little smaller without monboy... I saw photos of him in a hospital a couple of days ago on facebook. Hope he is ok!

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After a week, the calls stop. He still messages me on Facebook once in a while, occasionally sending me photos of his farm, his house, his face covered in Thanaka, etc. The haircut becomes less fashionable, the clothes become more traditional. He has made his transformation back into farmer. 

 

Probably the most emotive few lines I've read in a long time.

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quite an end to an adventure. But that the story of our boys , one day we return anxious to see them only to learn that they are gone for good. 

 

Thank you numazu for sharing your adventures with us and we can only wait until one day you return to LOS

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Boys are People, a fact that I tended to bury deep in my subconscious.   I’m retired from The Game now because of health issues.  I look back over the years, trying to recall the hundreds of boys I met.  I think I did not give them the respect they deserved just because their bodies were available for money.   If I had been in my 30’s instead of my 60’s and had met a young man non-commercially, a young man who was self-supporting and did not need or accept any money from me, I suspect I would have been quickly drawn to monogamy and to a greater respect for the young man as a person.

 

But I was a very late entry into the Game and I shared a popular misconception that (a) money boys enjoyed sex with all their customers and (b) they were good at it.   The truth was that many of them would have preferred to be back on the farm once the attraction of money and the glitter of the nightlife in Bangkok/Pattaya had worn off.

 

Unlike today’s bar boys, most of the guys I met were actually gay, but gay or straight, there was no way in hell that they could have really enjoyed the encounters with customers 40 or 50 years older than they were.   They may have enjoyed the attention they got, may have enjoyed being the star of their bar, and sure they were grateful, but grateful for the money, not for the “privilege” of getting into bed with grandfather.

 

IMHO.

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 and sure they were grateful, but grateful for the money, not for the “privilege” ........

 

this can be said about  many of us , working folks.

We like the paycheque, we may even like going to work but certainly we like going home from work better.

 

And probably it helps  boy's self esteem if they can separate mentally  work part from pleasure component. Sure , we clients can use some passion but asking for that in exchange for 1000 or even 3000 baht is perhaps too much.   

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Sometimes it's difficult to maintain customer-client status and mutual emotions are been involved and without any planing relationship can be develop.We have to be very carfule here. I think Namzu handled this issue with the boy brilliantly .

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It's not possible, namazu, for me to come away from your writings without recollections of my own experiences I now feel compelled to relive--and examine--under the lens that your adventures impose.  You easily rekindle memories I was content to leave compartmented in the past. You force me to confront unresolved emotions. 

 

I find myself recalling faces of those I met over 15 years of visits.  How many have returned to the farms, the villages, the families they described to me? How many did not? How did they survive? I don't think it possible to sleep with someone, awake to their smile and then totally erase them from my life.  We really don't possess a delete button.

 

My second trip was the first and only time I agreed to be seen off at the airport.  It was a week into my last trip when one of my new guys said "I go to airport with you" after asking what day I was leaving.  I gently but firmly discouraged him. 

 

How much are they pursuing their game plan? How much are we pursuing our's? In the end it probably doesn't matter because we're both destined to repeat the scenario with other players.  Some of these guys we may well see again while others simply disappear from our lives. 

 

What I'm becoming more aware of is the need to let them know I appreciate the time they shared with me.  I hope I treated each with with respect and left them their innate dignity. 

 

These, namazu, are the reflections of a much older man who is indebted to you not simply for the entertainment you provide but for the issues you bring forward.

 

And after I finish reading the forum today I'll begin planning my next trip--as I hope you, too, are doing!

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...... sleep with someone, awake to their smile and then totally erase them from my life.  We really don't possess a delete button.

 

 

we do , it's labelled 'time'.

 

I agree it's difficult and doesn't work always but time does it's work and that , in a sense,  is a blessing 

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For me, this is the best chapter of all your trip reports.

I 'm feeling the some way, quite moving good bye, inner thoughts well written but who knows what future brings to both parties.

We can only hope for happy and unexpected reunion, that would be story !

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