Gaybutton
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40 minutes ago, t0oL1 said:Tried cutting his allowance and he just ends up in the street.
Just out of curiosity, how do you know that? Didn't he eat and manage to survive all his life until you came into the picture? If he really ends up in the street, which I doubt, why is that your problem?
And what's his problem about finding a job? Assuming he is in Pattaya, plenty of jobs are available now. Of course, as long as you are supporting him, what does he need a job for?Your heart may be in the right place, but don't be surprised if the reality turns out that you are being had, which is exactly what I think.
My free, unsolicited advice would be not to just suddenly cut him off, but give him enough to support himself for a month or two and let him know this is it. This is the last I'm giving. There will be no more. Your choices are find a job, join the military, or become a monk, but once this money runs out, you're on your own.
- vinapu, gayinpattaya, floridarob and 4 others
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If it were me, I would choose Agate.
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On 8/29/2022 at 9:30 PM, Olddaddy said:
But you can still be lonely in Pattaya/Thailand if you have no family or partner.
Many a days last month in jomtien I was lonely ,sitting out on the balcony staring at the sea by myself.
Are you serious? I would think you know as well as I do that the last place on Earth where you have to be lonely is Pattaya. What do you want? What are you looking for?
If you are looking for companionship, nothing could be quicker or easier.
If you're looking for a life partner, that's an entirely different matter. You don't need me or anyone else to post "How to find the right partner" lessons. But for sure you're not going to find him by sitting out on the balcony staring at the sea.
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4 hours ago, zoomomancs said:
Of course many of them will give us a sob story to try to get cash. And sometimes their reality is grim. We can keep in touch and be very careful, and say no, and do what we can to help when we are there.
I feel just as sorry for them as anyone else, especially when I'm certain their story is true. But I also remember I did not do that to them and I am not responsible for their lives. I do what I can without causing problems for myself. For example, one boy who I had gotten to know very well had gone back to the rice farm. Just last month he needed a sprayer and fertilizer. I knew - not guessed, but knew - he was telling the truth. Not particularly expensive for me, but way beyond his means. I bought the sprayer and fertilizer for him, but made it clear this is all I can do and if he needs anything else, he's on his own. He respected that and he is doing fine.
He knows me well enough to know that once I set the limit, that's all he is going to get out of me. He got what he needed and I don't get harassed for more and more money. I have a life too and I intend to live it - at least what's left of it . . .
- santosh108, vinapu and zoomomancs
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3 minutes ago, reader said:
Happy I could bring a bit of amusement into your day.
Why are you assuming I meant you? I wasn't even thinking about you. I had someone else in mind - not even a poster on this board, but I'm not going to say who. However, your assumption, although wrong, does amuse me.
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37 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:
But I guess you don't know about lonileness , many of these old farang guys go back to their own country after holidays in Thailand and most live by themselves,it can be a lonely life between trips
Oh yes I do know - only too well. I too lived by myself. I came to Thailand years before living there and went through it many times. For me some of the most terrible days of my life were the days my holiday was over and i had to return to the USA. I clearly remember more than once, when I had to change planes in Tokyo on my way back to the USA, right next to the plane to the USA there was a plane getting ready to go to Bangkok. It was all I could do not to try to board that plane.
Personally, though it isn't easy, I'd choose being lonely and realistically looking forward to my next holiday in Thailand rather than get stuck in a money trap with obviously insincere boy. Unfortunately, the choice becomes accepting reality or trying to continue living a fantasy. I hope you make the right decision.
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3 hours ago, vinapu said:
It's never pleasant to say ' no' even if request is entirely unwarranted, it's why your warning should be taken seriously
That's right. You never know, so it is best to be very cautious about it. Don't forget, I live in Pattaya and have been here many years. I think I know a little more about the goings on than people who go to Thailand for holidays, even if it is months at a time, and decide now they know more than people who live here.
Some of the "expert" posts I see cause me to spend several minutes finishing up having my little laugh.
I'm not warning frivolously.
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7 hours ago, Boy69 said:
I foolishly sent him 10k BHT so he can start new life on his hometown but then the requests for money become more frequent and for substantially bigger amount , I stopped answering the boy and ignored all his messages. it was the first and last time sending money to a Thai boy.
That is exactly the kind of problem I'm warning about. Some might be lucky and it doesn't happen, but believe me that is the exception. The problem is, as I said, no matter how much you give, it's never enough. And the pleas for money never stops.
One poster calls my advice ludicrous and says just block him. Really? Try it. Just try it, It won't take long to see how doing that seems like it will work, except for one thing - it doesn't . . .
If you want to send money as a gift, by all means send how much you want. No problem about him knowing who sent it if, and only if, he doesn't get your contact information.
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4 hours ago, Shonen said:
I know you’re going to think say he did nothing wrong, and you’re right.
That is what I think, but not in the way you probably think I think . . .
He did exactly right and he tried his damnedest to pull it off. This is just the kind of trap I keep trying to warn about.
If you're in Thailand for a holiday, enjoy the boys, but don't let the money boys get too close to you. The non money boys either. Enjoy it while you're in Thailand, but don't give him any of your contact information - None. If you made the mistake of giving him your Email address, Facebook page, or anything else, change it as soon as you return home. In Thailand buy a cheap phone and put in a Thai SIM card that you can get rid of when you leave. If he wants your phone number, give him that one. You can get perfectly good, very cheap phones here for as little as 300 baht. If you have a LINE ID, change it to something else when you return home.
Especially if you're inexperienced in Thailand, you do not want any of these boys to be able to contact you after you leave. If you think the boy of your dreams that you met here is any different, think again. "Not this boy. He's different." Is that so?
If you're wondering why I also said non money boys, I'll try to illustrate why I said that. Many years ago, long before caller ID or any of the modern gimmicks, the phone rang and my father answered it. After saying hello, he simply listened. After several minutes he said, "I can't afford a free vacation" and hung up. Got the idea?
I hope you'll heed my advice rather than finding out the hard way that you should have . . .
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Others may disagree with me, but I've learned not to even try to buy gifts for the boys. Instead I give money and let them buy what they want. Most times when farang buy gifts for the boys, the boy will react very happy about it. Later he will either throw it away or give it to somebody else.
Giving money may seem tacky to us, but believe me, unless the boy specifically asked for something, he'll appreciate money much more than a gift you pick out for him. And to the boys a gift of money is not tacky at all.
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I should have mentioned that I saw several customers get very angry about the mandatory dinner and were arguing with reception. I think they were right if they were not told in advance. However, those of you who know how things work in Thailand, you don't need me to tell you how much good their anger and arguments did them . . .
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Since Covid I don't know if they are still doing it, but be careful where you stay. Several of the hotels, especially the ones around the beach areas in Pattaya, had mandatory Christmas dinners. Hotel guests would be charged for it whether they ate there or not - and often guests didn't know about it until they arrived. Actually they were very good and I thought well worth it, but I never liked the idea of mandatory. The excuse was they were preparing elaborate, expensive dinners and could not afford for their guests to eat elsewhere.
They should have at least informed their guests in advance but few ever did. I don't know if any hotels in Bangkok or other cities were doing that, but I would want to find out before deciding where I want to stay and how much they are charging.
Before you commit to a Christmas hotel, ask if they are doing that. Check about New Year's Eve too.
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Slightly off topic, but anyone looking for tacky souvenirs in Pattaya ought to try the Lukdod Shop.
Scroll down to read the reviews.
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1 hour ago, Olddaddy said:
I said ..no
That is what I would say too. I don't mind being generous with the boys, but I mind very much being ripped off, and that is how I see the prices being quoted.
I'll stick with the apps. I used to be among those who felt as if they are missing something if they weren't in the bars every night. Now I'm just fine having little to do with them at all. Besides, I'm not a drinker in the first place.
I'm sure I would view it differently if I were in Thailand only for holidays. Living here, I see things much differently.
I check out Jomtien Complex once every few months or so. I haven't been to Sunee Plaza since Covid began. I haven't been to Boyztown in years. For me, that's quite enough. For me times, and apparently prices, have changed.
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3 hours ago, bkkmfj2648 said:
Hopefully, there in Pattaya/Jomtien this type of system does not exist ? The guys are free to choose, 1.) who they go with?, 2.) how much they will charge ?
As far as I know, that is correct. What used to be common when Pattaya had a great many go-go bars, the mama-sans would try to get customers to take the boys they recommended. That's because those boys would give kickbacks to the mama-san. I don't know how much of a kickback they gave or if any of that still goes on today, but the boys are free to go with or turn down farang, negotiate their own prices, work in whichever bars they want, and change bars any time they want.
I doubt many boys still give kickbacks to mama-sans or anyone else these days,
By the way, 1500 baht is expensive for short time in Pattaya. Unless times have changed since I last took a bar boy off for short time (and that has been quite a while), the going rate is 1000 baht. 1500-2000 baht for overnight. Of course, no boy will object if his customer wishes to be more generous than that. -
18 hours ago, Min said:
the bar requires them to ask for at least 1500.
The bar requires? For me, that's a new one. I've never heard of a bar "requiring" anything except its off fee. In this context who, exactly, is "the bar" and why would the bar give a damn how much the boy gets from an off?
If it's not already obvious, I'll try to explain: "The bar" is either the mama-san or whoever is in charge of the boys. "The bar requires" is because whoever is requiring it demands kickbacks - and that is likely whoever is in charge of paying the boys at the end of the month or has some other kind of hold over the boys. If the boy is really lucky, he might get to keep half for himself.
Yet another reason why I won't take boys off from those kinds of places.
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31 minutes ago, Shonen said:
If I was a mb, I would try to unionize and request payment first like in most other countries. That would give more power to the mb.
Wouldn't it be a bit difficult to unionize a technically illegal profession? Thailand legalized marijuana. How about legalizing prostitution along with it? Since prostitution is such an open secret - the most open secret I've ever heard of - what's the point of keeping it illegal?
"Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. Why isn't selling fucking legal?"
- George Carlin
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12 minutes ago, reader said:
Let's just say we've had very different experiences and leave it at that.
Ok, I agree. You've said your piece and I've said mine. All done. Nothing to be gained by continuing.
- floridarob and reader
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Cambodian boys versus Thai boy scams
in Gay Thailand
Posted
You guessed right. Of course he will keep asking. Why shouldn't he? He has nothing to lose by trying. While you might be curious as to what happens to him, do you think you would get a truthful answer from him and can believe what he tells you? You might get an interesting new set of sob stories, but that's all. When you're dealing with a money boy who got used to being financially supported by a well meaning farang, try as I might, looking at it from his point of view, I can't come up with one good reason why he would stop trying.
Again, my free, unsolicited advice is to do as I recommended in my post above - and then cut all contact with him. If you don't, who do you think would prevail in the end - the farang or the boy? It may hard to cut all contact, but continuing contact is very likely to end up being much harder.