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Many of you know my board, https://www.gaybuttonthai.com was down for a couple days. The problem has now been fixed and we are up and running again. Thank you very much Moses, owner of the Sawatdee board, for fixing the problem.

I saw that as well, I think it is probably because there is some confusion for people who might not follow the Thai news as closely that they are forcing asymptomatic people into quarantine for 10 days. There are also reports of hospitals not admitting people until they pay a deposit or the full fee in case insurance won't cover it, but also not allowing them any other options. I'm more worried about the test I need to take to board a plane and go home. If I get asymptomatic covid at any time during that holiday, you will be put into quarantine for 10 days and forced to change flights. I'm going to make sure I have insurance coverage 15 days past my expected departure just in case.

From Bangkok Post JAKARTA: Indonesia's holiday island of Bali will start welcoming back travellers from all countries from later this week, officials said on Monday, more than three months after announcing it was open to selected nationalities. Though Bali officially opened to visitors from China, New Zealand, and Japan among other countries in mid October, there has since been no direct flights, Tourism minister Sandiaga Uno told a briefing. Senior minister, Luhut Pandjaitan, said from Feb 4 international visitors who were vaccinated against Covid-19 would still be required to do between five and seven days of quarantine. https://www.bangkokpost.com/world/2256459/indonesia-says-bali-to-reopen-to-foreign-travellers-again

I sincerely doubt there are more liars in the U.S. government than there are in your own personal life. Human beings tend to lie when it's convenient, easy, or it will save their ass. I know plenty of people who work for the U.S. government who care deeply about the work, this country, and the public service. Of course it's always the bad apples who ruin things for everyone. But when you seriously think about large bureaucracies, especially the ones where employees come and go with each new administration, it's hard to imagine any mission that can be perfectly executed with so many hands coming and going. Run a business, any business, and find out how difficult it is to create a perfect execution. Or better yet, see how easy it is for just three people to keep your secret. America's problem is education, and it has been a serious problem for decades. Republicans in particular prefer to keep their voters stupid and scared. As long as there are too many stupid, scared people running around, there is no way they will ever be able to wrap their brain around science. If the cross you want to bear is science-denial, then you just might die on that cross. It's proving true for many anti-vaxxers.

It is possible to get an express result, guaranteed in four hours not over night. You will need to call the hotel and explicitly ask for it. In arranging my trip none of the hotels mentioned the availability of an express result - they automatically assumed the 24 hour result was ok - but if you asked about an express result they could do it for another $70 or thereabouts.

In Rio, it is very common for the payboy saunas to be less busy on weekends than on certain weekend days. 117’s busiest night is currently Tuesday, while 202’s busiest night is currently Wednesday.

Мой опыт посещения хаммама в Каире в мае 2021 года оказался неудачным, так как молодой массажист очень заботился о моей невинности и всячески скрывал мою наготу, хотя я был единственным посетителем в хаммаме. Сам массаж был неплох, но не до качества тайского.

Price and layover times being equal, I'd always fly from SDU

From Pattaya Mail Pattaya-area tourism officials met with hospital representatives to hammer out final details on plans to offer “hotel isolation” for “Test & Go” tourists found on arrival with Covid-19. Chonburi Sports and Tourism Director Ampai Sakdanukuljit Sliwinski met Jan. 26 with the heads of the Tourism Authority of Thailand Pattaya office, Chonburi Tourism Industry Council, Pattaya Business & Tourism Association and Thai Hotels Association Eastern chapter, as well as representatives from area hospitals. Ampai said the restart of the Test & Go tourist-entry scheme Feb. 1 will see changes for Pattaya hotels. For starters, hotels are now required to have the TAT’s “SHA Extra Plus” certification, which requires not only all staff to be fully vaccinated against Covid-19, but a partnership with a local hospital to provide coronavirus testing and medical services. Previously, only SHA+, without the hospital integration, was required. Second, Pattaya hotels will now be eligible for the “Hotel Isolation” program, which began in Phuket when tourists tested positive for Covid-19 on arrival but were denied coverage by their insurance companies as their symptoms weren’t serious. The tourists refused to leave their room, pointing out Thailand’s government required them to purchase the insurance, and now the companies refused to honor their policies. The tourists refused to pay for medical care at hospitals and would not leave their rooms. To save face, Thailand allowed the revolting tourists to stay and began calling it hotel isolation. Expecting the same circumstances elsewhere, the government expanded the program nationwide. Currently, 177 Chonburi hotels are SHA Extra Plus-certified, with 125 of them in Pattaya. Those resorts are required to reserve 5% of their rooms for Hotel Isolation. The rooms must be separated from other guests, the hotel must provide three daily meals in disposable containers, provide essential medical supplies and medicine, and use standardized equipment. The partner hospitals must arrange enough appropriate medical and public-health staff to follow up daily and evaluate the patients’ symptoms via video call. Moreover, the patients can contact and question the partner hospital at any time. https://www.pattayamail.com/latestnews/news/hotel-isolation-coming-to-pattaya-387735

I love the Argentine name for these hotels: albergue transitorio (temporary shelter).

It is foundational to wealth accreation. The key point of the only book my parents ever gave me on financial management was that the surest way to accumulate wealth is to not dissapate it. Actually it was my mother who gave me the book as she could see I took after my father, very able to make money and also very able to let it slip through my fingers. It has provided a necessary break on my behavior, albeit not as much of one as she desired. Bangkok Guy is much more in her mould.

Think with the big head, not the small one! Pay upfront guys are never worthwhile. Usually they're in a big city where they can hustle visitors without worry. But it can also be a danger from a law enforcement perspective. Spelling out what you're paying to do and collecting the cash is an open and shut case.

Forget your libido and trust your instincts. As soon as you detect anything going south, act immediately and get yourself out of the situation and back on the street. Don't argue or try to negotiate over money after any threat or actual violence. As soon as you learn that there's a second person on the premises, that's another signal to get out. I've never had a situation In Thailand (or any SE Asian country) where I felt physically threatened. I've had guys who want to try to negotiate a bigger tip before they left but that only happened a handful of times. In cases where a guy (massage or off) fails to make good on things he agreed to, I tend to lose interest and end the session. I pay him the usual ST fee or tip for massage and cut my losses. There are too many good ones out there to waste time on a loser. But like I say, those situations are rare in Asia in my experience. When entering the apartment of a stranger, take note of how the door is secured so you'll know how to quickly exit. It takes but a few seconds to check. But I reiterate, your number one objective should be your personal safety. Act quickly. The longer you remain in a confrontational situation (especially involving more than one person), the odds go against you.

It's so much hassle. I prefer to stay home.

Farewell, For Now Our last day, and after getting up early for my pre-departure RT-PCR test I return to bed and spoon with Bangkok Guy. We sleep late and head to the pool just before noon, where we relax in a cabana. I occasionally swim laps while Bangkok Guy is content to relax in the shade. We return to the room for a final nap and a final ‘nap’. Before going to dinner, I pack. I hate doing it, going through all the mechanical steps needed for a smooth departure this evening. We have a final dinner on the terrace by the river and then go to Bamboo Bar where we are greeted warmly and the captain automatically brings us our drinks, a Sazerac for me and a Pina Colada for Bangkok Guy. Since the evening four years ago when the mixologist at Vespers decided that a Pina Colada was a good match for someone who does not like the taste of raw alcohol, it has become Bangkok Guy’s standard jazz bar drink. The female vocalist tonight is outstanding. I suggest to Bangkok Guy that we should dance if there was more space. Back in the room we do just that, our own versions of the tango and the waltz. Next time, we agree, we need to dance. Bangkok Guy could stay in the room until late check out tomorrow, but ultimately he decides he will take a cab home when I leave, despite the late hour. By himself the room is “too spooky”. The LimoPattaya is on time, not our favorite lady in her ‘Boss car’, but a colleague. I ask Bangkok Guy if I can hug him goodbye – we are in public – “Yes, can” and we briefly hug. He usually gets down the evening I depart and while he has been cheerful up until now, I see this is happening. Despite all the snafus, the stresses and only spending four days with Bangkok Guy, it has been a great trip. However, like Bangkok Guy, alone in the car to the airport I am a little down. I really want more time with him. I stroke the gold dragon on the red cord around my wrist. This connection has become deeper than anything in the past. A little deeper, and it will push against the practicalities of my life, and I really have no idea where to take it then. I smile. I like Bangkok Guy. I like him a lot. We will connect again some time after June for the trip around Thailand and that will give us time together to figure this thing out.

Tipsy Talk Back at the hotel Bangkok Guy heads to IconSiam to get a shirt for tonight while I shower before the tailor arrives. I am very pleased with the clothes and by the time Bangkok Guy returns I am wearing some of my new wardrobe, a pair of high-waisted caramel linen trousers held up with woven silk braces in light blue with a tropical fish design and a white Chinese-collared shirt, the collar and placket lined in deep navy. Bangkok Guy both likes and is amused by the braces “They cute”. He explains his amusement by showing me a picture of little children wearing outfits with braces – he associates braces with children’s clothing. He has bought a white Chinese collared shirt which matches mine. His phone rings. It is our driver from today saying that she will not be driving us tonight, one of her colleagues will collect us. We are disappointed as she is a co-conspirator and we like her car, a black Honda Accord, which Bangkok Guy tells me in Thailand is a “Boss car”. Her colleague arrives in an SUV, apparently “Not Boss car”, so we arrive at Baan Suriyasai as our humble selves. Our reservation is in Khun Bangkok Guy’s name as the restaurant was having trouble with my name and Bangkok Guy took over. The new shirt matches his status as patron-of-record. We have our usual room, a private table-for-two overlooking the courtyard. Bangkok Guy orders for us, old favorites like the pork belly with different sizes of egg and a few new dishes. As always the food is wonderful. No champagne by the glass, only by the bottle. I ask Bangkok Guy if he likes champagne and if he can drink more than a glass. I order a bottle after he affirms both. We don’t usually drink this much, certainly not Bangkok Guy, and the alcohol loosens the conversation. “Why you drink so much?” “All Falang drink”. “I not know Falang, I know you. You like alcohol more strong (than the champagne)”. I later ask for an eau-de-vie, confirming his analysis. “Your mother knows you are gay?” “Yes”. “Does it bother her?” He looks confused “Why it bother her?” “In the West some parents do not like their sons being gay”. “Oh?” he is not sure what to make of this Falang peculiarity. “Why you give me everything?” “I don’t give you everything”. “You give a lot”. “I like you”. “How much you like me?” “A lot” and I extend my arms to indicate the entire room and the universe beyond. “Why you like me?” “You are a very nice person. You have a good heart. You are responsible. You have a sense of humor”. “I not so nice”. “Really, why you say that?” “If I no want to talk to someone they can see, my face look like this” (he tries to pull a face of someone turning up their nose, but does not really succeed). I had wondered how Bangkok Guy’s complete lack of a poker face went down with fellow Thais and this suggests that it can cause problems. “You like me?” “Yes, you always nice to me, never ‘Ack Ack’ me, and you are funny”. ‘Ack Ack’ is said rolling back the lips to show the teeth in a biting motion. It’s a gesture I have used to indicate that I have had to deal with someone. He sees it as part of my being a Boss, but happily I don’t act as Boss to him. “Why you stay in such expensive hotel?” in a slightly critical tone. Bangkok Guy likes value-for-money, not expensive things. Now I discover why he called asking for the hotel address. I explain I have a deeply discounted rate, but admit it is still expensive. I am paying about twice as much as I normally would in order to get the space and river access, to keep distant from people because of covid. He nods, this is of a piece with my using the LimoPattaya rather than public transport and insisting on cracking the windows open despite smells outside. On the way to Ayutthaya, he wound the windows up because of a smell (not much of one to my nose, but he has a much keener sense of smell) and I put them back down. He felt the need to explain my odd behavior to our driver (I caught the word ‘covid’) and she just laughed. After driving me several times she was used to my strange obsession. “What do Thai people think when they see your ring?” I ask, indicating the ring-of-power-that-was-supposed-to-be-a-dragon on his ring-finger. “Think I am married”. “How many children do you tell them you have?” I tease him. Bangkok Guy gives me a tolerant ‘You are so Silly’ look and ignores the question. “In Thailand where you want to live, Bangkok or hometown?” “Bangkok too many people, but is business. Hometown is nice, have trees and nature, but no business. Stay Bangkok for business and live in hometown once business big enough. If could live anywhere, would live in mountains like you, cooler, air clean, not many people”. In mountains like me?! “I don’t live in mountains”. “Yes, I see many trees”. One time he called me I was in the garden and he has associated the many trees with forest, which he associates with mountains. He really does like nature. I explain the confusion. “Still many trees”, which I can’t deny. The comment about no business in hometown causes a penny to drop. The allowance I give him enables him to stay in Bangkok and keep alive his aspiration of creating a business. Without it covid would have forced a retreat to the hometown where the living is cheap but the opportunities are zero. “Outside Thailand, is there anywhere you would like to live?” “With you”. “You can live outside Thailand?” “Yes”. “But no Thai people, who you talk to?” His look implies I am missing something “Who you think run Thai restaurants?” he asks laughing. My local Thai restaurant is indeed run by Thais, and there is a temple twenty minutes away. I have always thought that Bangkok Guy was wedded to Thailand, so this is news. “You would be happy outside Thailand?” The answer here is nuanced. In Thailand getting ahead as a very poor person is difficult. His father went bankrupt a few years ago and now the responsibility for the financial wellbeing of the family unit (his mother and younger sister) rests on his shoulders. It is a lot. He accepts the responsibility, not accepting it is not a consideration, but he would like to be happy while he shoulders the responsibility and somehow this might be easier outside Thailand. My guess is that it comes back to needing emotional support and, possibly, he thinks there is more opportunity outside Thailand. Bangkok Guy, possessed of the ring of power, wants to join me in my woodland sanctuary. I wonder if this is how Tolkien got inspired? I’ve never heard that he visited Thailand.

Ayutthaya and Birthdays The same lady driver from LimoPattaya is on time in her very nice car to drive us to Ayutthaya. As usual, Bangkok Guy curls up on the back seat and rests his head in my lap. My role as human pillow is secure. After the first temple, one with tortoises, we are hungry. Bangkok Guy finds a place online and a ten minute stroll finds us at a charming old wooden Thai structure nestled in a garden. No one in sight, and we are concerned that it is closed until we find the proprietors seated around a table at the back having lunch. We are the only customers, and they are delighted to see us. Bangkok Guy selects what turns out to be a very good lunch. Over lunch we continue an earlier discussion of future travel plans. We have been looking at all the places that Thais can go without visas and some of these correspond to my bucket list, including the Maldives and the Serengeti (Tanzania and Kenya are e-visa, failing which South Africa and Kruger National Park is no visa). He does not know the Serengeti, so I type it on his phone and he explores the pictures on the web, his grin widening. He holds up a picture of one of the lodges with eco-style architecture: “This where we stay?”. “Can”. “I want!!” He is however a frugal realist: “But expensive?” Yes, compared to Tokyo which had been the next on our list, but as I want to go anyway and it will be more fun with Bangkok Guy than by myself, I assure him we can do it. Our post-covid travel plan is now the Maldives and Africa. Tokyo is banished: “It only shopping”. However, who knows when covid will end. For the second half of this year we agree that he will plan a trip for us in Thailand. Bangkok Guy is enthusiastic and shows me pics of himself on holiday in various spots of natural beauty around Thailand. He really likes scenic beauty, partly for the beauty and partly for the absence of people, and traces out a possible route on a map, all nature spots except Chang Mai which, as I have not been there, he thinks I should see. We will hire a car, he can drive, he is in fact very enthusiastic to drive me. To avoid circumnavigating Thailand by car, which I think would be tiring, I point out that he has a credit with Bangkok Airways for the cancelled Koh Samui ticket, so when we reach the far North we can fly South and hire another car. Given the logic of a free flight, he agrees, although left to himself he would drive the entire way. Lunch over, he calls the driver (they exchanged numbers and he is now in charge of driver relations) and we visit more temples including the Buddha-head-in-tree, the one with a big fishpond and the reclining Buddha. Our last stop is a floating market which Bangkok Guy is very keen to re-visit as he enjoyed it on a previous occasion. From his photos I thought it was a local market, but it is clearly built-for-tourists, albeit strongly appealing to Thai tourists. Unfortunately many of the shops and the ladies selling from boats in the small lake are no more, victims of the economy. Bangkok Guy is disappointed but unfazed and once he finds a clothing store I see why he likes this place – very attractive casual clothing at very cheap prices. He gets a stylish tie-died shirt and loose pants in white with a red-brown Thai-patten print for 100Bt each. H&M and Uniqlo, eat your hearts out. It is now a little past the hour at which we need to depart if I am going to be back at the hotel in time to receive the completed clothes from my tailor. Bangkok Guy speaks with our driver, and we are on the road home for all of four minutes when we suddenly pull over and circle around for a parking spot. To my questioning face Bangkok Guy says ‘Two minute’ with his ‘Trust Me’ expression. I assume he needs to go to the toilet. Ten minutes later I am beginning to wonder. Fifteen minutes later I line him “?” and get a quick response “Five minutes” and a sticker indicating ‘please’. My “Ok. What you doing?” gets a sticker of a figure biting its fingernails. “Not to worry, but only because it is you” to which he responds with a kiss sticker. Whatever he is doing, it means something to him, and I will find out eventually. I text my tailor that I am running late and can he please come thirty minutes later than scheduled, a request with which he is fine. I look back in the direction in which Bangkok Guy went to see if there is any sign of him and spot an advertising sign for a jeweler. Our driver is watching me. “Did he go to the jeweler?” “Yes”, she smiles. She is in on whatever he is up to. I decide to visit the jewelry shop. As I approach the shopgirls see me and by the time I enter they and Bangkok Guy are doubled-over in guilty laughter. A gold dragon on a red cord is just about to be placed in its gift box. Instead, Bangkok Guy places it around my wrist “Happy Birthday!” Everyone in the shop is beaming. It is the same type of dragon that I gave him the money to buy two years ago, instead of which he bought the ring. I had said I would like one and we had planned to take a boat to Chinatown tomorrow to get one for each of us. Bangkok Guy had drawn me into a thorough discussion of what size dragon I wanted compared to the size he wanted, and in the car on the drive here had played around comparing his hand and wrist with mine, I now realize to size the red cord correctly. I offer to buy him one but no, he has the ring, the whole point of the discussion was to find out what size of dragon I wanted. I am quite blown away and grinning from ear to ear. This is a nicest gift I have had in a long time, and the best planned. As an aside, our lady driver passed Bangkok Guy’s number on to LimoPattaya, and for the remainder of the trip LimoPattaya call Bangkok Guy, not me.

Shopping and Business In the morning we follow Bangkok Guy’s habit of sleeping in if there is no specific reason to get up. I enjoy drifting along next to him. We leave the room in time for lunch and Shopping at IconSiam. First stop is for me, Jim Thompson where I buy additional masks as gifts and get one in yellow with an elephant pattern for Bangkok Guy. Then I follow Bangkok Guy to his usual go-to’s, H&M and Uniqlo where, to my surprise, he buys nothing. Too expensive as no Sale today. His frugality extends to my money. In Muji he finds underwear and hoodies he likes, and my views are sought on hoodie selection. He gets an attractive lemon yellow one with dove grey lining. We are heading for the escalator when I see Polo Ralph Lauren. “Expensive”. Yes, but they are having a sale, 50% off. Bangkok Guy needs ‘underwear for swim’ and these are on sale. My opinion is sought between pale pink and mid blue. I am surprised he likes the pink, but maybe it is only brighter shades to which he has an aversion. In the end price is the deciding factor, pink is 50% off while blue is only reduced 30%. To my surprise, we have to return to Jim Thompson where Bangkok Guy buys himself a black facemask. He has decided it will match his outfit better, which it does. He is frugal, but he is gay. All this activity requires a rest, so we return to the hotel and after a shower climb into bed for a nap which later becomes a ‘nap’. After dinner on the hotel terrace, we have a business discussion. I have updated the spreadsheet showing his monthly budget: his expenses, the money he makes from the market and his allowance from me. The last two years his market income has been erratic to put it mildly and I have provided additional funds to fill the gap. For the coming two years I have increased his allowance so that it fully covers his expenses: the additional money is funded from a new long term contract I recently landed. Whatever happens with covid, his basics are covered. The discussion then turns to his business. His experience with the market stalls is a textbook case of the need for differentiation and defensibility in a business model, without which you can’t maintain steady volume and reasonable margins. For example, he got into selling masks and sanitizer early and for around two months he was doing great business, until everyone else did the same thing. If he is going to move beyond hand-to-mouth he needs to find something which is both differentiated and defensible. I explain these ideas, using his experience as the example and sketching out pictures in my business notebook. Bangkok Guy becomes animated – he gets this – and takes over the conversation to explain to me how markets are organized, sketching pictures for me. He has a plan, which I think is a good one, that achieves a somewhat defensible business model by using access to goods from his hometown and the organizational structure of the markets. By employing his mother and sister the model also follows his understanding of the purpose of a small business, which is to support the family unit. Bangkok Guy and I have discussed business often enough that there is a mutual understanding that my suggestions are very welcome (“you are businessman” in a very approving tone), but that he will decide whether-or-not my ideas are workable for small business. Early in our friendship he had an idea for creating a laundry service to cater to the new middle-class tower blocks. I thought it was a good idea and a scalable one if he developed an app with a tie-in to courier services. From my perspective, the purpose of a small business is to scale enough to achieve a trade-sale or an IPO. As I waxed lyrical, I noticed I was on the receiving-end of the constipated look. “What think?” What he thought was that I did not understand the purpose of small business which is, as everyone knows, to support and provide employment for the family unit. So now I offer my insights from ‘big business’ which he then considers through the lens of his framing of small business. Capital is needed to make this new idea work, which is my role. He understands that anything beyond the allowance depends upon me generating additional income. I now know the goal for the additional income I need to make this year if the modest percentage I share with Bangkok Guy is going to meet his capital needs. I am keen to help him with this, partly as I think he has a good idea and partly because I want to move him away from hand-to-mouth and become financially independent. And of course, I like him and enjoy his enthusiasm. We do not go to Bamboo Bar tonight as Bangkok Guy points out that we have an early(ish) start in the morning.

Enter Bangkok Guy Complete radio silence from Bangkok Guy, which is not a surprise as he only communicates if there is something to communicate and, unlike me, feels no need to reconfirm what is already agreed. The need to keep multiple balls in the air in business has habituated me to rigorous management of time and process which I unwisely carry over into my personal life. Unwisely, as it gets in the way of relaxation and spontaneity. In Bangkok Guy’s words ‘So much organize’. Bangkok Guy has three approaches to managing this potentially irritating part of my personality. Amused indulgence while he watches me attempt to bend the universe to my will, when a wise person would realize you can only organize so much and then play the rest by ear; persistent but gentle suggestions that I need to relax more; and simply ignoring me and doing what he thinks is necessary at the pace he considers suitable. Today he is ignoring me. A little after 5pm he Line’s me that he has finished his errands and is on his way, followed by a Thai-language screenshot of the hotel with the question “This your hotel?” Odd question as he has already spoken to the hotel about his vaccination status, so I guess that his taxi driver knows of other hotels with similar names and wants confirmation of the address. I later discover that he went into the website to get the address and got such a shock at the room rate (full board, not my heavily discounted rate) that he felt he needed to confirm. It is great to see him. He looks good and his eyes have their usual sense of mischief. After two years apart we are both happy, hopeful, but slightly hesitant. Is this going to click and pick up from where we left off? I reassure him that as he has been sick, we go at his pace. I follow him. He wants to rest, we rest. He wants to go to Bamboo Bar, we go, but if he does not feel up to it, we do not go. His face, mirroring his thoughts as always, is a picture of great satisfaction mixed with thought. He snuggles close and smiles “I follow you”. “You have been sick, I want to be sure you are ok”. “I not tired any more, can go anywhere. You want to go Ayutthaya? Can go.” I touch the gold ring on his ring-finger. “You give money for (he uses a Thai word meaning dragon charm) but I buy ring”. We have had this discussion on Line, but now that I am seeing the ring in person for the first time, he is watching my reaction. “So you wear my ring?” “Yes”, with a mischievous smile. “So you are mine?” “Yes”, with the mischief heading off the scale. I trace his eyebrows with my finger “These mine?” “Yes.” Stroking his nose “This mine?” “Yes.” Comprehensive exploration reveals that all of him is mine. Ah, but apparently a rule of reciprocity applies here. “If ring make you mine, then ring makes me yours?” “Yes.” “All of me?” “Yes” with a great grin. This is clearly a powerful ring, but alas for Sir Peter Jackson there is no material here for a further trilogy. Unlike Sauron, Bangkok Guy is likely to use the power of the ring gently and reasonably, mischief and grinning included. It does not take much empathy to understand that while Bangkok Guy needs and likes the financial support I provide, he also needs love. He has a romantic heart but beyond that, sane and well-balanced as he is, I sense a need for emotional support. I don’t know his full family background, but there is a deficit there that needs to be filled. After a couple of hours slowly reintroducing ourselves, we shower before heading to Bamboo Bar. We are again very comfortable with each other. Things are not back to where we left off. Somehow they have moved beyond that.

Passing the Time As originally conceived this trip had a significant business component, using Bangkok as a hub to visit other cities in the region or people coming to Bangkok to meet me, and re-establish face contact after two years. The removal of Test-and-Go shut the door on this. However, my presence in Thailand and this time zone makes me useful to others whose plans have also been disrupted and I receive requests for all manner of help from meeting potential investors to conducting a Zoom-forum and even interviewing a candidate. With my days free I am happy to oblige and the days before Bangkok Guy joins me become a pleasant routine of swimming, working, dining by the river and becoming a regular at the Bamboo Bar where the captain now automatically orders me a Sazerac. Not wanting to risk crowds on the Metro or Sky Train I hire a car and driver from TheLimoPattaya whenever I need to get around and re-experience what we all know – Bangkok is not a city in which driving makes much sense as a transport option. I have the same lady driver with the very nice car, the weather is mild enough that cracking the windows open does not cause discomfort, and as the traffic is taken into account in planning, everything goes smoothly. For those into shopping, Jim Thompson is making a great N95-design mask in a fun selection of fabrics. Much more comfortable than the regular ones as the straps are adjustable. Hovering in the background is a nagging concern over the true state of Bangkok Guy’s health. It is not a concern that can be addressed through Line exchanges for language reasons and also because he is both a Stoic and believes in looking good. I will only find out when we meet as, in person, when it is just the two of us face-to-face, communication is much easier and it is always the plain truth, politely expressed. Things Begin to Fall into Place, Finally The morning of the day prior to Bangkok Guy’s emancipation from home-isolation begins with an apology he sent late the night before, after I had turned in. ‘Sorry I didn’t answer you. I take medicine and sleepy all day’. That explains his total radio silence yesterday. I tell him no problem, rest and get better. After swimming laps I have an early lunch by the pool and doze in the shade of the cabana, enjoying the soft breeze off the river. A ping from my iphone breaks my reverie, a sticker of a rabbit and a chick popping out from behind a wall. Bangkok Guy signaling he would like to talk. I ask if I can call him – our established etiquette to give him time to make himself presentable before a live audience – and the next thing he is calling me, voice only. He clearly doesn’t want to make a live appearance. He sounds tired but says he feels better and his sense of mischief is alive and well. I tell him the next few days are what he wants, I follow him. We have established ‘I follow you’ as our code for who is in charge of the task at hand for everything from choosing a restaurant to finding a temple or deciding on the main activity for the day. What I mean to convey is that he is recovering, so we go at his pace. His response is a mischievous giggle while he repeats ‘you follow me’ in a very satisfied tone of voice. We will see where this leads. We agree he will come to the hotel at 5pm the next day. His choice of timing. My guess is that he has a lot of errands to run after being quarantined for so long, some of which will involve restoring his grooming to its usual high standard. I slip back into my cabana reverie only to be pulled out of it by another ping, this time from my tailor. I have an appointment in the afternoon but he is at the hotel for another client, so if it suits me we can have a fitting now. I am very happy with what he has made and, seeing my satisfaction, he suggests that now I will of course want ten of everything. I do get a few extra, including an additional pair of linen trousers in terracotta-with-orange-highlights which I like but which I know Bangkok Guy will view with considerable skepticism. If he is going to pull my chain, I am going to pull his. For a change I lunch outside the hotel on the terrace at D’ARK in IconSiam. It is 1.45pm and the waiter (extremely cute) tells me alcohol sales stop at 2pm, so rather than a glass I order a carafe of the Sancerre with fanciful thoughts of acquiring a monopoly on alcohol between 2-5pm, and selling glasses from my stock at outrageous prices to parched Falang. It is an excellent Sancerre and I happily consume my cache, parched Falang be damned.

Clearing the Cultural Fog My flight touches down early. To my surprise the domestic terminal is a hive of activity, a striking contrast to the international ghost town. A lady from LimoPattaya meets me in a very nice car for a fast trip into town. I notice that only one of the many large advertising billboards by the highway is in use, the others forlornly solicit business with their phone numbers. I am enjoying lunch by the river when Bangkok Guy pings me with a photo of a doctor’s letter, which I take to the concierge for translation to ensure that it has all the information the hotel needs. Bangkok Guy has a habit of sending me documents in Thai as proof of various things, such as the Time Payment Tractor, and I have always trusted that they show what he says they show. This is the first time I have had anything translated. The letter says Bangkok Guy has had covid, is about to end his ten days quarantine but then must return home for a further four days self-isolation. This seems overly cautious to me, but clarifies why Bangkok Guy insists he has to go home after he leaves hospital. His unwillingness to enter the hotel remains a mystery. It seems the caution is justified. I ask Bangkok Guy if he would like to take a day trip to Ayutthaya. “I feel weak lately. Do not want to travel. So sorry.” Although he looks good on Line - he probably makes sure he looks good when I call - I should have been more attuned to his earlier comment ‘not good inside’. My guess is that he contracted the Delta variant which remains more prevalent in Thailand than Omicron. This means that it may take a while for him to be back to full health. The concierge tells me that Bamboo Bar is open and I celebrate my first evening in Bangkok by returning to that old favorite to sip a Sazerac while listening to a very enjoyable jazz vocalist. Bangkok Guy will enjoy this once he is free as he likes jazz vocals, assuming he feels up to going out. I only stay for the first set however as there is an almost full house and I still have a final PCR test to pass. Back with the front desk I discover why Bangkok Guy thinks he can only meet me outside the hotel. Contrary to my earlier conversation I am now told the hotel’s policy is double-vaccination only, no doctor’s letters (!!??!!#@%!) which makes sense of Bangkok Guy’s statement that he can only meet me outside the hotel. It seems the policy depends upon to whom you talk. This misunderstanding is corrected. Bangkok Guy will be welcome. In the slightly fraught period during which the misunderstanding is corrected, I contact four alternative five star hotels to secure a back-up plan. Two are very clear ‘double-vaccination only’, one is open to accepting the doctor’s letter once they have seen it and can verify its contents, and one is equally clear at the opposite end of the spectrum ‘we have no vaccination requirement’.

The Confabulation Tendency It is difficult to understand what is going on here. Why would the hospital require him to go home after ten days in quarantine? Why does he say he cannot see me in the hotel, when the hotel tells me a doctor’s letter is fine? Given the propensity of the human mind when stressed to automatically seek out a narrative which fits the ‘know facts’ – to make up a story to meet our need to feel we understand - I need to be very careful. My experience with Bangkok Guy, and the principal that the simplest explanation is most likely the correct one, suggest that what we have here is another example of linguistic/cultural fog. Something is lost-in-translation and I need to chill out and take time for things to become clear. Call this ‘Explanation A, Cultural Fog’. However, that simple direct piece of reasoning is insufficient to calm my mind and halt its search for pattern-fitting narratives. Soaring in flights of fancy, my mind constructs two ‘fact fitting’ narratives. The first of these, ‘Explanation B, It’s A Con!’ I have a sufficient grip on reality to dismiss. Beginning with the thought “Isn’t it odd that each announcement of not being able to meet came just at the last minute?”, in this narrative Bangkok Guy never had covid and never had any intention of meeting for any number of reasons which can be invented to propel the narrative. However, I think he has genuinely contracted covid. The whole thing is sufficiently elaborate and consistent that reality seems a much better bet than make-believe. Also, a complete con simply doesn't gell with my experience of Bangkok Guy, who is honest to a fault (I think?). In ‘Explanation C, The Curse of the Caring Falang’, Bangkok Guy has another Falang; contracting Covid has fouled up his careful management of his Falang; and he is now wildly improvising (for example, he tells me the hotel says he cannot enter, but the hotel tells me they will accept a doctor’s letter). This is a much longer narrative fitting many more ‘facts’. This trip has been in the works for a long time, plenty of time to develop a story for Falang #2 that he will be back in home village over New Year when he will actually be with me. In the initial discussion after he got covid his concern was canceling his flight to Koh Samui, nothing more. Meeting in Bangkok was good. It was only five days later that, in hindsight, his reluctance to go to the hotel ahead of me and the odd frustrated sticker he sent, signaled that something was off-balance (rather than simple frustration as I thought at the time). What has gone off-balance is that Falang #2 discovered he was in hospital and insisted that Bangkok Guy stay with him once he was released. The Curse of the Caring Falang! It is an old truth that the best lies contain a partial truth. However, my experience is that all our lies contain some truth as inventing a complete fantasy is just too difficult. Consciously or unconsciously, we incorporate elements of reality into our falsehoods. The piece of reality in Bangkok Guys’ story is that someone is saying he has to go home after leaving the hospital. The unreality is that the someone is the hospital. That Bangkok Guy may have more than one Falang is not ideal, but neither is it the end of the World. We have no agreement for, nor expectation of, exclusivity. His ideal Falang lives in Thailand and it is clear to both of us that this is not me. I am only in Thailand twice a year on average, two weeks of the four are business, so a maximum two weeks of his dedicated time. An entrepreneurial young man could utilize the other fifty weeks to his advantage. ‘Cultural Fog’ and ‘The Curse of the Caring Falang’ cast Bangkok Guy in very different lights. My experience of Bangkok Guy, and Occam’s Razor, suggest ‘Cultural Fog’ is the true situation here, but where emotions are involved (‘After all this I won’t see him!!!’) it is hard to clear the mind of a well-constructed narrative. I need to chill out and wait for Bangkok Guy’s response to my request for a doctor’s letter. ‘Cultural Fog’ will enable him to provide the letter. ‘It’s a Con!’ he cannot provide the doctor’s letter. ‘The Curse of the Caring Falang’ he will be able to provide the doctor’s letter but will not want to, resulting in improvised excuses.

Things Veer Further Off-Course I decide to spend my last day on Koh Samui dining at the two five star hotels that anchor each end of the beach. After a leisurely morning and strolling the beach I settle into a table next to the gently breaking surf and contentedly watch the World over a couple of glasses of pleasantly grassy sauvignon and a squid ink paella. After strolling the beach to settle lunch I am on my way to an afternoon massage appointment when Bangkok Guy pings me. He says he has talked to the hotel and ‘cannot enter’. I asked him yesterday to bring his vaccination card as the hotel now requires proof of vaccination. I call him and things only get murkier. He implies that he did not get his second shot. What?! However, as he has just recovered from covid this should not matter, and I tell him to get a letter from the hospital saying he is just out of quarantine as recent recovery is equal to a vaccination. There is a conversation in the background and he says no, hospital tell him to go home, cannot go to hotel. His response to my “but this is not the way it works” is “but this is Thailand”. He can see me outside hotel but cannot go into hotel. I feel sick. After all the effort to make this trip happen I will not spend time with Bangkok Guy?! Fortunately the ninety minute massage is very good and gives me time to clear my head and think. I call the hotel, explain the situation and ask what the rules are for someone just released from quarantine. They confirm my understanding: all that is required is a letter from the hospital saying he has had covid, has been in quarantine and has been released. No need for anything further. I send Bangkok Guy a Line message explaining what is required and ask him to get the letter. Then I head to dinner at the opposite end of the long white-sand crescent from lunch, where I enjoy a beautiful sunset over excellent Thai food. Next morning I catch my flight to Bangkok. Bangkok Guy is yet to read my message from the previous day.

Circumnavigating the Island My original itinerary included a rental car which Bangkok Guy was going to drive, an idea he liked very much. There was no flexibility to either alter the booking nor to get a refund, so on the fourth day I collect a car which I will be returning halfway through the rental period. The things forbidden in the rental contract include smoking, animals and durian. The partial saving grace is that I can drive myself to my day-5 PCR test at Koh Samui hospital, avoiding having a taxi wait for me, the cost of which is equivalent to two days car rental. Driving on Koh Samui is very easy and my little car is the right size for the narrow roads and right-angle bends – literally a right-angle in an otherwise continuous stretch of road. After the PCR test – efficiently organized on the hospital’s tennis court – I have lunch at a very isolated beach restaurant that was recommended to me. Not a place I would have ever found on my own and excellent Thai food. I send a pic to Bangkok Guy who apart from being envious - "So Delicious" – is amused that the mild spice level is at the upper end of my tolerance. He likes confirmation of his ides fixes about Falang. My anti-clockwise circumnavigation of the island is singularly lacking in the picture postcard views which comprise one-hundred-and-ten-percent of Koh Samui according to the internet, guide books and advertisements for accommodation. Between the infinity pools of the hillside villas and the white sand beaches an ugly ring of random ribbon development encircles the entire island, excepting the South West quadrant. Think of the ugly bits of Pattaya (well, just think of Pattaya) stretched into a thin circle. I saw the villa I had originally booked and, now I understand the lay of the land, I am happy to be paying the premium for direct beach access.

Yeah, it was unsettling. I'm glad he didn't have a weapon or anything and I'm thankful that my husband and I had each other. Him not having a weapon gave us an advantage, I believe because there was no way he was going to kick both our asses. My husband is a very muscular guy and he just shoved his ass out the door. I think after my hubby pushed him, he felt the strength of his shove and knew it would be a bad idea to fuck with him. This is why we usually go through manny to get our guys. Mannys guys know not to mess with his clients. In fact, manny was the first person I called when the sage began. But my husband stepped in like a super hero. We also visited marlowes bar. The owner is very nice. He gave us a tour. He has a BOOM BOOM room in the back. We have decided to go on Saturdays-monday now because the colonial zone is soooooo very festive Sunday evenings. For some reason I can't share the link to my Twitter page but if you have Twitter you can look up my account from the picture attached. Again to the creators of this site, THANK YOU so much. You are bringing people together and making a positive impact on individuals who probably wouldn't travel to some of these places. Be well guys. Also, to the person who encouraged me to start a Twitter and onlyfans account. I was so not interested when you mentioned it to me, but now I am addicted to BOTH sites. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

I'm trying to decide on my next fun jaunt. Sto Domingo is on the list. This MP gym sounds intriguing, but why is it being mentioned here? Just eye candy? Just a place to work out? Or has there been confirmed hookups from here or, even better, action right here?

Casa Sanchez looks quite nice. Though not a 'gay hotel' like Adam, it is apparently gay-owned and gay-friendly, presumably accustomed to same-sex couples using the lower courtyard pool and rooftop hot-tub, outside pool table, etc. However, being gay operated says little about tolerance for the parade of sex work guests for which some of us want an unencumbered privilege. As I reported earlier, locals less comfortable about being seen obviously in a "get down" role in a hotel context might be more easily persuaded to come in for a drink and billiards (how inocuous and macho is that?!) or swim or jacuzzi, breaking the ice, and eventually moving towards the privacy of the room. Similarly, Palacio has a rooftop sunning and pool area. You might even pack a few extra swimsuits. TAU Casa Conde by Paco's (aka Grand) would be a place to which you would have to be more direct inviting the guy to your room, and entering is publicly more visible. While not necessarily a great place to stay, it would be affordable to some as a secondary base exclusively for sex. It is more definably geared for that, for female guests of male punters (but sex hetero tourism is usually highlighted over MSM), though a regular hotel.

I wish someone would expound on this topic also. I'm sooooo curious to know what's going on.